The Old Man And The Z

 After New Years and the holiday season came to a close, I decided I would dedicate strong effort to getting my head back in the game, so to speak.  I was back at work, catching up and trying to come to grips with some pretty serious news we received there at Christmas time.  On top of everything that happened with Alicia, the news that the place I had worked at for the last 16 years was about to merge with another bank sat heavy on me.  With that news came worry of whether I’d stay in my role, have to move, or even keep my job for that matter.  I had made a lifetime worth of friends with the people I worked with.  Wasn’t 2014 enough chaos for a little while?  Needless to say, I felt like I had become a zombie.  Wake up, go to work and worry, call Alicia several times to remind her of the medicines due, go home and try to forget about work and worry about how Alicia was, go to bed.  Rinse, Repeat.  

I needed a mental and emotional option that wasn’t life or death or unemployment or homelessness.  Softball has been my outlet in adulthood and the close of February meant I would soon be back on the diamond and I was desperately hoping that would help me focus  and find the balance I was looking for.  I was prepping to play in a coed softball tourney in early March.  I was excited for softball to start because it would be a routine of normalcy again.  Coed was still new to me but it was a nice way to break into a new season.  We needed a couple of female players and I put the word out on FB.  I got an odd response from an old classmate about the age the player needed to be.  I thought to myself, “we’re the same age so if I can do it, you can handle it.”  She was actually asking because she wanted her daughter to get involved.  We were able to sneak her in and that’s the day that I met Zibby.

Without much detail, I understood that Z was in a similar mental state as me at the time and needed to get out and involved in something.  She was welcomed with open arms and fit right in.  We had a great tourney and finished 2nd overall.  Z even took home the trophy.  I also felt something spiritual with our meeting.  I felt something pulling at my heart to stay in touch with her.  Her mom and I continued to communicate and a need for some guidance in the softball department presented itself.  I have never claimed to be a superstar but I have always loved the game and coaching.  Wait for my post on the 1999 MB Eagles Baseball Team.

It felt weird at first because I didn’t really know anything about Z but I wanted to help her.  We started working together and I learned more and more about her everytime we would practice.  I got to know her pretty well and began to realize that she had not had a  very easy 16 years but she was always smiling and upbeat when we were together.  She would greet me with a fist bump that always let me know she was happy to see me and ready to go to work.  She soaked up everything like a sponge and improved as quickly as I’ve ever seen a player improve.  I was amazed but then started to see her for who she is.  She sings, plays guitar and piano, takes stunning photos, plays softball, plays soccer.  She can really do anything she tries to do.  She has amazing talents and abilities.  I knew then that I was dealing with a special person. 

 By working with her, I found myself returning to form.  She had brought about a different kind of focus that I needed.  My priorities remained home and work but we would get together once, sometimes twice a week, and I would forget about pain and worry and fear.  My focus was on her learning how to hit a softball better and harder and to show her that she could unlock the beast I saw glimpses of in practice.  We shared the same goal for different reasons.  The goal was for her to make the team.  For her, I suppose it was to be on the team and play the sport.  For me, it was to show her that she COULD make the team if she put in the time and work.  I suppose it all really took some serious trust on both sides.  We were strangers using each other to rebuild ourselves and find our inner strength again.  With that for me came pressure but it was the kind of pressure I liked and thrived on.  It was pressure that I had control over.  Not the work and medical stuff that I was at the mercy of.  My pressure was to push her to her limits and make sure I understood who she was and what she was capable of.  At the same time, I knew I was running the risk of pushing too hard, too fast.  I was able to gauge her feelings and thoughts by talking with her and her mom, Eron.  We built a bond in those practices that would blossom into a full blown friendship.  That has a way of happening when you open up and put all your faith in someone.  And that’s exactly what we did.  She had faith in me that I would teach her and help her become a better player.  I had faith in her that she would work hard and believe in herself.  That solidified the bond that was created from little more than happenstance.  

 For two people that aren’t related by blood or marriage, you probably couldn’t find more faith shared.  She has remained a special person in my life over the last year.  She loves my girls, we text regularly, she’s gone with us to the fair and haunted houses and hangs out with me and my family as if she’s one of our own.  Eron says we have kindred spirits and I have always agreed.  I just feel comfortable with Z and that isn’t an easy thing to find anymore.  But, for some reason, she was placed in my life at a particular time.  I feel like we have a bond that will never be broken.  Twenty years from now, she or I will see something that makes us laugh and think about something cool that has happened over the last year.  I am guessing those things might be related to spiders, sweet tea or now, scorpions.  I have to share the sweet tea story just because it is so funny.  We were scheduled for practice one Saturday and I text her mom to make sure she brought the TEE.  That being the piece of softball equipment I let her take home to practice her swings.  Zibby, being Zibby, went to the refrigerator and took out a gallon of sweet tea and proceeded to take it to the car.  By the time Eron got the phone out for a photo, it was all hitting Z and she tried to put the tea back.  But Eron snapped off the picture in time to send it to me with the caption “Z getting the tee.”  I’ve gotten a lot of mileage out of that one, including a nice photoshop. 

 She has a tremendous ability to make me smile and forget about all of the grown up stuff that gets me down.  In a year, I’ve got her wearing UGA gear, listening to occasional Deftones and hanging out with me when it would be a lot cooler to hang out with friends.   I don’t even really know how to classify her other than an angel.  My angel on the infield and sometimes in the outfield.  She’s my friend and she’s like another daughter to me.  I know she has already been a positive influence on Bailey.  And Georgia loves seeing her.  And Alicia too.  I don’t know what made it click that day.  I just know that it did and I am forever grateful that fate dealt me those cards after being dealt the crappiest hand of my life.  Today, Alicia is healthy, G is awesome and Bailey is still daddy’s girl.  Also, I am mentally back to the same old corny, fun loving nerd I’ve always been.  For that last part, Z deserves a lot of credit.  Thank you!

Update – May 29, 2017

Z walked across the Big grad stage on Saturday and I couldn’t be more proud of her.  The last few years haven’t been a cake walk for her as she likes school about as much as I did, which wasn’t much.  She did make that softball team in 2015 and that was a win in the confidence department confirming that we were both successful.  But she’s become so much more than that in 2017.  She’s grown up!  She still goes to my softball games, she plays with our girls, we share funny stories and great music and she even went to her first UGA game with us last year!  We are going to the Deftones/Thrice concert in Jacksonville in June and that will be a first for her as well.  I’ve been honored to help her share some experiences outside of the norm for her.  She seems to enjoy them too or either she’s an extremely good actress.  The next couple of years are going to be pretty crucial in her transition to adulthood and I plan to be right here to offer her the same shoulder to lean on as the previous couple of years.  She’s a big girl now and can do things on her own but I’m not going to let her fly away just yet!
J-Dub