One of the coldest facts of life is that we have no idea when our time on earth will be up. We sometimes take for granted that we will live to retirement and enjoy the lives we build for ourselves over the prime years. While in reality, I may not even make it to the end of this blog. I say that we sometimes take it for granted but I think the more accurate statement would be that we almost always take it for granted. Very few people wake up thinking it could be their last day. But the fact is we just never know and that can be downright frightening.
It’s no secret that Albany, Ga has experienced her share of tragedy during the month of January. I am not about to step in anyone’s shoes and claim that I understand it or “know how it feels” to be where victims are either. And while most of the area woke up on Sunday knowing that it would likely be a very difficult day, you can never really prepare for an event like this. We also didn’t know if it would be Lee County, Worth, Dougherty, Mitchell, Northwest Albany, South Albany, East Albany, or Putney. No idea. As a matter of fact, up until 5 minutes before the tornado hit South Albany, we were watching a potential path from Dawson to Leesburg that just dissipated. Then, Mother Nature chose its destination and we all know by now what happened.
I’m not here to make sense of it or try to understand it in the least. There is none of that. I am here though to discuss how precious our lives really are despite what we think sometimes. This is the second major weather event I have been close to. I was not in Albany for either of the floods, though I know they stretched resources and sanity to the limits then. I was, however, in Camilla in 2000 when the devastating Valentine’s Day Tornado hit and took 22 lives across the region and in the hometown I had known since birth. It destroyed a landscape that I had intimate knowledge of. It was like a wasteland of debris and confusion. I can only imagine that lifelong Albany residents are experiencing those same feelings right now.
I knew most everyone affected by the tragedy in 2000. Camilla is a small town after all. This beast struck in the middle of the night. My aunt and uncle’s home was in the heart of the destruction. My aunt wasn’t home because she had the daunting task of being the EMA Manager/EMS Director in Camilla. So she was working that night and had no idea what condition her home or family were in during the immediate moments after the tornado. My parents and I arrived at her house to find my uncle and two of their kids safe but extremely shaken. Their home had withstood the storm (with plenty of damage) but their hearts and minds were in shambles. We walked through the neighborhood in the pitch black checking houses and looking for people that needed help. It was so dark and quiet. I was as scared as I had ever been and I was 23 years old. The only light was the occasional lightning strike and those were the rare moments that you longed for the dark because you were able to see the destruction that was surrounding you. We also had no idea what was unfolding just across the highway where a mile of mobile homes had been utterly demolished. An unforgettable night, much like Sunday afternoon was to so many here in Albany.
There are countless unbelievable stories that eventually came out from the residents there that survived the event in 2000. Traumatic stories of survival and heroism and despair. There are certain moments, pictures and stories that I’ll never forget. The same will come out of this event and it will be one that is never forgotten locally. That’s on top of what had already happened on January 2. But these events highlight my topic. None of the people who lost their lives woke up those mornings and thought, “This is probably my last day.” Of course, that’s not real healthy thinking to begin with I suppose but the old saying is “live like every day is your last.” And in that, there is some solid truth. We walk around thinking that we can put off today what could be done tomorrow. We think that we can tell someone that we love them the next time we see them. We think that our situation is bad because we didn’t get the raise we were hoping for or we didn’t get our package in the mail or we aren’t having what we wanted for supper. And true, in a vacuum, those are real feelings and thoughts for us. I don’t mean to trivialize everyday struggles because I know they are real. They just seem to take on a different meaning in times like this. You have every right to have your bad day. But perspective helps with those days.
What would happen if we truly lived every day like it was our last? First, I mean that in a practical sense. That doesn’t mean we should go rob a bank and buy new cars because it really might not be your last. It would be your last as a free person but I digress. How would we treat our loved ones? Our neighbors? Strangers? Would we be arguing about abortion and same sex marriage and religious views while hating everyone that has a different set of views? Or would we be so focused on ourselves and our loved ones that the noise around us would be muted? Does that mean we should turn a blind eye to social issues and world news topics? No, but we could sure start to mind our own business a little bit and not get involved in things that really don’t alter our lives one way or the other. Trivial would truly be trivial and those around us would get the best of what we have to offer. Who doesn’t want that?
I posted a line from a song a few days ago that says a lot in a few words, “it takes more than eyes to see.” We just either don’t know or forget how to look around until something like the above happens to us or our loved ones. Hearts go out for the losses and we get chills when we hear the horrible stories of devastation. This makes us want to hug our kids a little tighter when we tuck them in at night. It makes us want to tell our wives (or husbands) that we love them and appreciate them. It makes us want to get involved in our community and pitch in and donate and help clean up. And it should and we should absolutely do our part. But what are we going to do in the months or years to come when this event is a memory? Will we go back to road rage and getting mad at the lady behind the counter for being too slow? Will we get aggravated because our wives can’t decide where they want to eat? Will we long for a moment of quiet at our homes because our throbbing heads just can’t take the fussing anymore? Of course we will, because it’s human nature.
I’m not even saying that we are bad people because that is a part of life. But in those moments, we should sometimes stop and think that there is someone out there whose husband or wife isn’t coming home tonight. There is a parent out there who longs for arguing children in the home. There is a child out there that would not mind at all if their mom or dad was around to ground them for back talking. I am not trying to be grim but I am, if that makes any sense. We are losing our identity as a society. We are becoming more and more inhuman as time passes. And some of us are throwing our hands up and accepting it as the way of the world now. It all comes back to who we are. Are we someone who is going to project love and peace or are we someone who is going to be the pot stirrer, even when the pot is boiling over?
We only have a short time on this earth. It may seem like we have some long days or weeks or even years but humans have been around for thousands of years and our lives may represent 70 years of that if we’re lucky. That is not a long time. And I have learned that no matter how much we want to, we can’t do it over. We can’t revisit the past and change it. We can just try and make amends and move forward. What we can do is change now and going forward. We all have parts of ourselves that we aren’t happy with. That can be physically, mentally, emotionally or socially. We can change and we can get what we want out of this life for that short time we are here. It basically boils down to whether we want to or not. It may seem more difficult than that but it’s really not. Our hearts can change, our waistline can change and our personalities can change. Most importantly, I believe our souls can change. Our souls are something that is very unique to us. We may have a twin out there, a doppelganger if you will, but I believe our soul is as unique as our DNA. Our souls generally gravitate to other souls we are attracted to. We may think sometimes that attraction is physical, and it usually is on day one, but if our souls aren’t attracted to each other, relationships won’t last.
I have probably weaved in and out of traffic to get to this destination but my mind has been spinning for a while. My point is this; we have to love more, we have to be more patient, we have to have more understanding, we don’t need to judge people on appearance, we don’t need to take our moments (even of frustration) for granted because they are still moments and we generally recover. I feel all the time and sometimes that sounds like a bad thing. But I have learned to embrace it as a quality that some don’t have. We all have a uniqueness that we bring to the table. Now the feels I have aren’t always warm and fuzzy but I am very in tune with my thoughts and emotions and I have more clarity than I did 5 years ago. I have bad days. I have emotional breakdowns. I have shitty experiences. But in some of my darkest moments, I have been able to reach out to the people I love and get the help I need. And because of that, I TRY to take very little for granted. I see struggle all around me in some form and I am fortunate. I am alive and I have people that I love and that love me. Think about where you are right now in your life and how you can get the most out of it. I’m still learning everyday. I just hope I have enough time to figure it all out. Of course, that’s something I don’t really know.
J-Dub