Retro Review – Where’s The Time Machine?

I think I am really fortunate to have grown up during the 80’s. A lot of people think the 80’s were cheesy and others just think it is this retro/pop culture moment in time that is fun to visit when they dress up. I lived in the 80’s and I’m here to tell you that it was a wonderful time! Half of the stuff you watch on TV or listen to on the radio today started in the 80’s and we are just recycling it now because we’ve run out of new ideas. I don’t have to “re-imagine” Ghostbusters because I saw it when it came out in the 80’s. And when I wear my AC/DC shirt to dinner, I am not being ironic; I really love AC/DC!

In 1985, I was 8 years old and in the 3rd grade. We played outside from dusk til dawn, our parents never worried about it and we weren’t really getting exposed to all of the garbage I have to worry about with my kids today. I did stay up late one night and sneak in the last 15 minutes of Friday the 13th as a kid and saw a little more than what I was allowed to see but that was about it. I remember getting scared when I saw David Banner transform into the Hulk and I thought it was one of the scariest things I’d ever seen. My kids laugh at those 80’s special effects today.

Bailey (11) and I watched “Silver Bullet” a few weeks ago (released in ’85) and at the end, she said, “I thought this was going to be scary.” I remember seeing that movie for the first time and being terrified! I guess I’ll show her “Maximum Overdrive” and “Night of the Living Dead” next and see what she thinks about those. In fairness, when I take into account that “The Walking Dead” is one of the most popular television shows in history and it is uber gory, it makes sense. She doesn’t watch that show because I don’t think she is quite old enough but it is far more disturbing than anything mainstream that came out during the 80’s.

That’s part of why I remember my time as a kid fondly. Who knows, maybe my kids will look back on there childhood the same way. But when I look back at being a kid, I realize that I didn’t have a whole lot to worry about. I’m not saying it was a utopian society by any means but there really isn’t much of a comparison to what the kids of today have to face. I grew up watching Transformers and He-Man fight for mankind. My kids have YouTube and all the craziness that lives there! You can upload almost anything there these days. There is a Peppa Pig video floating around where the pig goes on a murderous rampage. Yeah, I love horror movies but I don’t want to mix them with my kid’s cartoons.

In the 80’s, about the worst thing we could see on TV as kids was going to be a “Saved by the Bell” episode about taking pills to stay awake and study. Do you remember when Jesse was “So excited! So excited! So excited!”? I will admit though that I watched “Tom and Jerry” a couple of weeks ago and it was pretty brutal by today’s standards. Jerry chased Tom around with a meat cleaver and hammer, which felt out of place in our modern society. I don’t know if Disney would get away with that one today but I’m sure Nickelodeon would slip it in to their rotation. Who knows; maybe all of it is relative to what you are used to?

Whatever the case, pop culture was at a peak in 1985 if you ask my opinion, and if you click on the blog link, you did. Television was rocking shows like; “Mr. Belvadere”, “Growing Pains”, “Cheers”, “The Cosby Show”, “Night Court”, “Family Ties”, “Different Strokes” and “The Facts of Life.” How many catch phrases, character ideas and plot stories do we still get from these masterpieces? The sitcoms of today seem tired and boring compared to these. Maybe that is why we see such a difference in what is on TV vs. today as I mentioned with “The Walking Dead” above. Once it has already been done, you have to go a little further and create something new. Maybe that is why society as a whole has pushed so far beyond the boundaries we once had. I don’t know, it’s just a thought.

Movies were pretty classic in 1985 as well; and it only cost $2.75 to go see them in the theater! I wrote about my favorite Horror Movies from 1985 here!We had a run of great actors and actresses during the 80’s that included Arnold, Sly Stallone, Chevy Chase, Bill Murray, Mel Gibson, Eddie Murphy, Michael J. Fox, Beverly D’Angelo, Phoebe Cates, Tiffani Amber Theissen and so many others! The old saying is true, “They don’t make ‘em like they used to.” Check out this awesome list of flicks just from 1985.

• Back to the Future
• Goonies
• Breakfast Club
• Commando
• Weird Science
• Teen Wolf
• Fletch
• Summer Rental
• Mad Max – Beyond the Thunderdome

I will never “move on” from opining about the 80’s and 90’s. The cold hard truth is that I miss everything that made those years fun; VHS tapes, cassettes, posters on the wall, Corey Haim films, drooling over Kelly Kapowski, watching MTV to see the latest video from my favorite band, tuning in to ESPN to see gosh darn sports highlights and not poker tournaments, playing Nintendo when there were only 2 buttons you had to master in order to win a football game. I miss eating whatever I wanted to without having to worry about cholesterol or calorie counts. I remember when bread was a part of the food pyramid and it always contained gluten!

Yes, things were simpler back then but what is wrong with that? What is wrong with sitting down and watching a movie about vehicles coming to life and terrorizing people and it not feeling hokey? What is wrong with believing that blood coming from Ric Flair’s head is real because Dusty Rhodes hit him with a tire iron? When our headphone batteries went dead, we had no choice but to go outside. We couldn’t text or FaceTime every minute of the day so we had to form personalities and then learn how to cope with people who did or didn’t like us because of that personality. WHY HASN’T ANYONE INVENTED THAT TIME MACHINE YET DR. BROWN???

Of course, there is something else I miss about the 80’s; simple but awesome sports cards. By 1989, we had about 6 options to choose from if you included Sportsflics and the companies put everything they had into that annual set they released. You could even buy a collectors kit from the Sears Catalog and 80’s cards were considered “hard-to-find”. While the current year cards weren’t hard to find because they were in every convenience store in America, I do remember the previous year’s sets being difficult. That is why ’87 Topps was so hot in 1989! We spent the whole year trying to collect the entire set through packs and now, you have about a week before the next product releases.

I know there is a good and bad side to those days but the bad only came later when we realized how much we were missing. If I ever find a way to go back to the 80’s, I am staying there so the Junk Wax Era will never really be the Junk Wax Era anyway. That Mark McGwire RC will always be valuable and Donruss will always have logos. As you can see, I really don’t ask for much. Just take me back to a time when video games were 16 bits, TV shows had to be recorded with VCR’s and baseball cards were made to be collected. Is that really too much?

I feel like I’ve gotten heated for some reason. Let me pull back the reigns and focus on something from that will relax me. Here is a prime example of an excellent baseball card set from the 80’s. The 1985 Topps set is a beauty and is loaded with superstars and some heavy hitting rookies. The packs still had gum, the cards still had borders and information on the back, and the big hits were simply the best players. This set was right before they started getting a little crazier with the designs as ’86 and ’87 would attest. This was a true baseball card, all the way around.

They certainly don’t make packs like they used to!

What better card to show off the design than this sweet Gary Pettis? The backs of the 85 Topps has a real holiday feel with the green and red.

The catchers are always a little slim in these rips but here are 3 good ones. Always love Tony Pena in his Pirates uni!

The infielders are a little more stacked with Chicken Man, Ryno, The Wizard and Donnie Baseball. I was a fan of Sweet Lou during the 80’s as well thanks to RBI Baseball.

The outfield was loaded with studs. The first thing I notice about this selection is the uniforms. Rock has the sweet Expos, Hendu has the old school Mariners and Willie McGee had the baby blue St. Louis jersey. Teams should still be wearing these jerseys! I’d also like to know how Jorge Bell became George Bell.

This was before Dennis was Oil Can and before Tommy John was a surgery. The Brewers had 2 Hall of Famers in their rotation and Eck and Dave Stewart were about to embark on a World Series run together in Oakland. Good times!

There were some sweet manager cards in 85 Topps. Bobby Cox would soon be an Atlanta Brave but not before Chuck Tanner took his shot. Pete Rose was one of the last player/managers and we all know how that worked out. LaRussa was about to join Eck and Stewart in Oakland.

The Record Breakers included Juan Samuel with the most steals by a rookie. He wound up winning ROY in 1984. While he had a serviceable career with 3 All-Star appearances, he never caught fire in the hobby.

Here are some of the All-Stars from 1984. Again, some of the uniforms jump right off the page. That Padres uniform is one from the 80’s I could probably do without but please bring back the Expos, Cards and Astros uniforms.

There were a lot of Father/Son inserts in 1985. Another couple of Boone’s were on their way into the league too. There were also a couple of future Fathers of major leaguers in this set; Ken Griffey Sr. and Jose Cruz.

This is the only Darryl Strawberry I pulled but it’s pretty sweet. I also love the Dunston but it has pretty severe gum damage. Look at that beautiful jersey on Floyd Bannister!

The rookie class was pitcher heavy with Rocket, Doc, Saberhagen, Key and Gubicza. All of these guys had nice careers and a few of them had great careers. The Eric Davis is one of my favorite RC’s from this year. Alvin Davis is one of the more underrated superstars from the 80’s.

Here are some of the players from the U.S. National Team. I missed out on Will Clark.

But I didn’t miss out on the stud of the set! This card was three bills when I was in high school and one of the most sought after 80’s cards in the entire hobby. I only pulled 1 but it is the first one I’ve ever pulled from a pack. This made the box well worth it!

This Score is a product of nostalgia and pulling a Mark McGwire Team USA card. If I hadn’t pulled it, I’m afraid I would’ve landed on a 3. This is not the best design Topps had in the 80’s but it was not the worst either. The box is a little pricey if you don’t wind up pulling some of the studs. Even with McGwire, I missed out on Puckett and Strawberry. But this set has a strong rookie class and there are several stars who were still very early in their careers here. I kinda like the green and red backs and definitely enjoyed the #1 Pick inserts. You can run the risk of pulling some gum damaged stars because they didn’t discriminate on the cards they put in the back of the pack. But overall, this is a classic set from the 80’s and has good value for retro collectors.

As an added bonus, check out this video of yours truly giving a piece of 35 year old gum a try! DO NOT TRY THIS AT HOME!

J-Dub

Scoring Scale

1.Let me be the sacrificial lamb so you don’t have to buy these cards.  Just read the post and thank me later.

2.There is worse but there is much better – not worth the effort though.

3.Middle of the road – I wouldn’t talk you into buying these but I certainly wouldn’t talk you out of them.

4.You should probably go out and buy a box and enjoy the rip – I did!  It has some downside but worth the ride.

5.Stop reading and find a box to buy and get to Breaking!  What are you waiting on?