Retro Review – Wrestling With My Youth

You already know that I’m the guy that is going to tell you that everything in the 80’s and early 90’s was better than today. The music, the movies, toys, everything. Wrestling is no exception. As a 12 year old kid, there was nothing that could hold my attention on the television more than some sweet WCW action with Tony Schiavone. I watched all the weekend shows and mimicked all the wrestlers on the trampoline with my cousins. You could never convince the teenage Dub that wrestling was kayfabe. It was my guiltiest pleasure on TV and that is certainly not a rib.

I’ll admit that I stole the term “rib” from a recent podcast that I have become consumed by. When I was in Dallas a few weeks ago, Eric Norton turned me on to “Something to Wrestle with Bruce Prichard.” I downloaded a couple of episodes to try them out and I was immediately taken back to the sweet wrestling days of my youth. Bruce Prichard, who was “Brother Love”, joins the host of the show, Conrad Thompson, to cover different wrestlers and wrestling events in an interview style that is very entertaining. One of their go to terms is “a rib”, which means joke, a put on, falsehood, you get it. If you loved wrestling as a kid, you better be listening to this weekly gem!

While I did grow to love WWE (WWF to me), I was always a Jim Crockett guy first. The NWA/WCW was a southern thing while WWF was more of a nationwide phenomenon. We enjoyed wrasslin more than wrestling and trust me, there’s a difference. I remember seeing a couple of events at the Civic Center in Albany as a kid. My favorite wrestlers at the time were the Road Warriors, Hawk and Animal. They always battled The Midnight Express, managed by Jim Cornette and his tennis racket.

All of this got me thinking about my many years of watching wrestling and how much better it was then than it is now. And you probably know by now that I enjoy a good list from time to time. So I originally decided to list my Top 5 favorite wrestlers of all time. That’s not an easy task when you think back over 30 years of watching wrestling. I then decided that if I was going to rank wrestlers, I should also rank a few managers/valets. And finally, if I’m ranking wrestlers and managers, why not rank some of the eye candy from the earlier days. They were sort of managers, sort of valets, then they wrestled some;but they were always a pleasure to look at. I’ll go from 5 to 1 but I promise this wasn’t easy.

Wrestlers

5. Mick Foley/Mankind/Dude Love/ Cactus Jack – I really liked all of the incarnations of Mick Foley but Mankind was probably my favorite. He had Sock-o and his “Have a nice day!” was always creepy and got stuck in my head. Foley really abused his body over the years and some of his most memorable matches for me came later in his career. I remember one specific match with Terry Funk that had them wrestling all over the arena; landing on tacks, breaking tables, climbing fences. As solid a #5 as you’ll ever find.

4. Junkyard Dog – JYD was one of the first wrestling action figures I ever owned. I remember having him and Hulk to go with the toy wrestling ring. He was also one of the heroes on the 80’s WWF cartoon that I watched frequently. Dog was famous for his head butt but it wasn’t an ordinary head butt. He would charge around on all fours when his opponent was on the ground and head butt them to keep them flopping around on the mat. They really don’t make wrestling gimmicks like they used to.

3. Undertaker – Taker is really the only recent wrestler on my list. Foley is not too far in the past but Taker was active very recently. My love for horror movies and wrestling made Undertaker a natural favorite of mine. I loved the gimmicks in the cemetery and the coffin matches and buried alive stunts. His “sit up” was also the stuff of legends and I recently found out on the wrestling podcast that it was patterned after the sit-up by Michael Myers in Halloween. Just one more thing to like about Taker.

2. Ric Flair – I know after you saw 5-3 you were probably wondering, “didn’t he say he was a Crockett guy?” Well, the top 2 bring that home. Everybody loves Ric Flair now but I loved The Nature Boy in 1989 when it was more cool to not like him. For my money, nobody beat him on the microphone. He was so entertaining and such a showman (and flopper) in the ring. He was also the owner of the very best robes in the sport, hands down. Ric Flair was the man and there is no denying that!

1. Dusty Rhodes – As much as I liked Flair, and still “Woooo” to this day, my all time favorite wrestler was Dusty Rhodes. And I’m not talking about the Polka Dot Dusty Rhodes of the WWF. I’m talking about “The American Dream” Dusty Rhodes. I can still see those Ray-Ban sunglasses as he tells Tony Chiavone what’s about to happen to the Four Horsemen. I really loved me some Dusty Rhodes and he would have been on my short list of “athletes I have to meet before I die” if he were still with us. The American Dream was the cream of the crop for me!

Managers/Valets

5. Ted DiBiase – I hated The Million Dollar Man as a wrestler but I enjoyed him when he was managing Psycho Sid and NWO. I didn’t like him because he was the ultimate heel but he was very entertaining and did his job very well. Sometimes the more you despise a heel, the more you need them around.

4. Captain Lou Albano – Captain Lou was fun to watch. He was more visible in the mainstream by the time I started watching wrestling but he was still making managerial appearances in the ring. He was also starring in Cyndi Lauper videos and the WWF cartoon so he was very visible. I could never figure out the rubber band fetish though.

3. Jim Cornette – If you want a better example of what I said above when discussing DiBiase, here it is. I absolutely could not stand Jim Cornette! But here he is on my list at #3. He made me hate The Midnight Express and I so wanted Hawk or Animal to smash him with his own tennis racket. But again, that’s part of the allure of wrestling. There are baby faces and there are heels. It doesn’t work if you don’t have both. And Jim Cornette was the ultimate heel manager!

2. Paul Bearer – If Undertaker made the list, you knew that Paul Bearer would be here. I could actually include Brother Love here too for his time with Taker. But Bearer was the ultimate creepy mortician that made me relish every Undertaker promo that came on. I would go around mocking his high pitched voice and try to make all those faces he made. What a cool manager!

1. Miss Elizabeth – I’m just going to let the photo speak for itself. She also deserves the #1 spot in the next category too!

The Ladies

5. Stephanie McMahon – I find myself in the minority when I bring up Steph to other wrestling fans as one of my favorites. She played the ultimate heel in the late 90’s with Triple H and from what I do see today, she is still pretty good at that. I don’t care what you say though, I like Stephanie McMahon a lot!

4. Sable – Between the evening gown matches and bikini contests, what’s not to love about Sable? Although I don’t think she would ever beat Luna Vachon in a legitimate match. Who could really?

3. Trish Stratus – There was a time when Trish would be #1 on this list but at this point, she’s settled in at #3. She was a bit of a heel so I had my ups and downs with her but there was no denying her “talent.” Not a fan of the Val Venis days though.

2. Beulah McGillicutty – It’s not often that you’ll find a name like Beulah McGillicutty on one of my lists but this one is an exception. She didn’t do a ton in WWE and was more known for her work in ECW but she was top notch. An absolute knockout!

1. Lita – I fell in love with Lita the first time I saw her and I really didn’t care about her being a heel one bit. Even at her heeliest, I wanted her to win. Maybe I just wanted her on the screen, I don’t really remember. Lita will be hard to unseat as my favorite. The hair, the rocker look, the flips…..a wrestling 10!

The podcast led me to YouTube to watch some old promos. I eventually landed on WWE TV and have been rewatching all the old Wrestlemania’s, even though I know how most of them end. I am not really clamoring to watch Monday Night Raw in 2018 because I know it won’t be as good as Dusty vs The Four Horsemen from the 80’s or The Rock vs Stone Cold of the late 90’s. But I have definitely been reliving some of the old glory days of a past time that was a big part of my youth. So naturally, I had to seek out an old box of wrestling cards from my youth.

That box was the stunning 1991 WCW set. I was 14 years old in 1991 and I watched every match that came on TV back then. It was a great time to be a wrestling fan. The cards themselves are, surprisingly, of very good quality for a non “Big 4” trading card. The stock is pretty good, the gloss is not too much but not too dull and the border just screams WCW in 1991. The box holds 36 packs of 15 cards and one puzzle card. Let’s see what was waiting inside!

The fronts of the cards were very nice but the backs could have been better. I’m sure they were going for gold but it almost looks mustardy. I do like the info on the backs though.

Jim Ross had a bigger wrestling career but Tony Schiavone was the voice of wrestling in my youth!

Missy Hyatt could have easily slid into the top 5 in the valet or ladies section but that means I’d have to take someone out. Maybe DiBiasi.

Michael “P.S.” Hayes and The Fabulous Freebirds!

Geez, I did not like Paul Heyman…..

Butch Reed and Ron Simmons were absolute BEASTS! Teddy Long on the other hand…..

I really loved the Steiner Brothers before Scott Steiner became “Big Poppa Pump” or whatever he called himself. Rick was very entertaining and was almost a poor mans Mick Foley.

Barry Windham was a heel that I couldn’t stand. As a member of The Four Horsemen, he made me want to tag into the match myself!

Sid was just plain scary. I would not have wanted to bump into him in a dark alley. Or a well lit church for that matter.

The dirtiest wrestler of all-time; Arn Anderson! He was ruthless in the ring and was the heart and soul of The Four Horsemen for many years. He kinda looked like a country singer too.

Here they are as a group!

How about Luger? He had the perfect wrestler body, very similar to that of the Ultimate Warrior.

I could’ve put Sting in my Top 6 if I had extended it one more spot. I loved him back during these days but the days where he was dressed like “The Crow” and carried a baseball bat weren’t as fun. He was a stud though!

And here he is! The Nature Boy himself! I know he was a hell and I know he was a part of The Four Horsemen. But damn, Flair was an icon even then! Wrestling was entertainment and there was no one more entertaining in 1991.

As an added bonus, I had to grab one of these Merlin WWF packs when I saw it too. These are a little more rare than most of the wrestling cards out there and are about $10 per pack shipped. These are some great looking cards though. This set is also the home of the Undertaker RC. I may be seeking out more of these!

No Undertaker in this pack but look who I did find! Miss Elizabeth in all her glory!

And then the opposite of Liz, the ever brutal Sensational Sherri. Tremendous heel!

Here are the other 6 I pulled with one being the incomparable Virgil. And who doesn’t remember good ole Irwin R. Schyster? I really like the design of these cards!

I’ll have to give 1991 WCW cards a 4 on the Dub-O-Meter. The design is good, stock is good, the photography is solid. But the collation is really bad. The set is not very big so when you get a box of 540, there are A TON of dupes. It felt like there were dupes in each pack! The price, $39, was a little higher than I think it should be. But those are really the only issues and it still comes in at a solid 4. I need to open more of the Merlin cards but they feel like a 5 to me at the moment. What say you about these old wrestling cards?

J-Dub

Scoring Scale

1.Let me be the sacrificial lamb so you don’t have to buy these cards.  Just read the post and thank me later.

2.There is worse but there is much better – not worth the effort though.

3.Middle of the road – I wouldn’t talk you into buying these but I certainly wouldn’t talk you out of them.

4.You should probably go out and buy a box and enjoy the rip – I did!  It has some downside but worth the ride.

5.Stop reading and find a box to buy and get to Breaking!  What are you waiting on?