deftone20@bellsouth.net

Who Am I?

As we age, we start to try and figure out some things. Some are important, meaning of life type things. Others are simple, like how to put on a toilet paper roll correctly, up and over of course. But what’s more difficult is trying to figure out things about ourselves. We usually have an idea of how other people see us based on how we see ourselves. Never mind the fact that we can be bias and are almost always wrong. We also usually have an idea of how we want to portray ourselves. Again, the person we portray is not always who we are. So, the question becomes, “who are we?” Or more specifically, “Who Am I?”

It is one of the troubling questions you begin to ask yourself when you have reached mid life. And no, I’m not talking about a mid life crisis. I am talking about understanding what we have been, what we can become and what we might always be. Some of it is hard to accept so we don’t like those answers and keep looking. We think “that can’t possibly be one of my traits”, and we blindly look for a more suitable answer. On the other hand, we run across something that we are proud of and we embrace that trait and pat ourselves on the back. I think that’s ok though. If we are going to really be honest with ourselves, we are going to need some good to go with the bad. We really just need to hope there is enough to even it out. I am trying to be honest with myself, though difficult at times. So I am going to try and be honest with you as I try and answer the question with the information I currently have as I near 40.

I Am An Introvert – Yeah, believe it or not, I am. I can open up with my closest friends and family and let my guard down. In that regard, I may not be a full blown introvert. It is not debilitating but it is very much there. When I play softball with a new team, I may not say 10 words the whole day of a tournament. When I go to a meeting with new co-workers, I find my seat and keep to myself unless someone comes up to me. I’d rather hang out at my house than go out and do something. I’d rather watch a football game in my recliner than at a sports bar or even in person, unless it’s a huge game. I haven’t always been this way either. I used to have to be the center of attention. I used to be the comedian of the group. Now, only certain people get to see that side of me, God help them!

I Am A Hypochondriac – I know this one is a shocker for some of you. It’s bad though. I am pretty sure I have emotionally had every major disease you can have. It’s even worse with my kids. Brain Amoebas, Flesh Eating Virus, Meningitis, all of the really bad ones. I take some of the craziest leaps when it comes to health concerns. I totally understand that these are legitimate concerns to parents and no one wants to go through these things. I just don’t have a rational way of dealing with the thoughts about them. I can reach a point of incapacitation. I can’t think, I can’t function, I can only see one thing. I have improved some in this area but not much. I do have to stay away from the internet when it comes to medical questions though.

I Am Kind Hearted – I usually don’t like the thought of anyone not liking me. Please don’t tell me that there really is someone out there that doesn’t. I try to go out of my way sometimes to make sure I haven’t hurt someone’s feelings. I am that guy that takes a dime back into the store because I got too much change. I am the guy that tries to remember every detail of conversations to pick up on things that you like so I can try to brighten your day in the future. I remember birthdays and anniversaries and other important dates. It makes me feel good when others feel good. I truly would rather give than receive. That is one that I am proud of.

I Am Trustworthy – Of course, I have been dishonest or a letdown just like anyone else. I am no saint. But I believe in trust and honesty. I think that is one of the tenets of our society, which is not one of our strong points. In my honesty, I believe what everybody’s grandma use to say, that if you don’t have something nice to say, sometimes you should say nothing at all. I have put my foot in my mouth before but I have generally been able to hold my tongue when I had to. Being trustworthy and honest is one of the things that has advanced me in my career and I know that. It is why I have been married to the same lovely woman for 15 years. It’s given me a lot of opportunities I wouldn’t have otherwise been afforded.

I Am Irreverent – I have a sick sense of humor. Nothing really offends me and nothing is out of bounds. It can sometimes get the best of me and it definitely battles with my kind hearted side. Think about the paradox of never being offended and always thinking I have offended someone. While there is no out of bounds, I sometimes forget where other’s boundaries are. I like hard core comedians. I don’t mind foul language. I can laugh at myself as much as laughing at something else. I think I have a great sense of humor. It’s just not for everyone. So next time I share that questionable meme on FaceBook, just roll your eyes and move along.

I Am Jaded – This one is tough. I know that I am though. I have seen too much of certain things and not enough of others. I have seen both sides of the philanthropic figure head. I have seen both sides of the religious FaceBook poster. I have seen both sides of the wealthy and the poor. You know the old saying, “If it seems too good to be true, it probably is”? Yeah, that’s what I think about a lot of people. Sometimes I’m right and sometimes I’m wrong. Again, I am not perfect. But usually, I have to see some true colors before I am all in. Or either, I see your true colors and I am out and there is no bringing me back in. Like I said, it’s a tough one to live with but it’s deep rooted at this point.

I Am Loyal – To go along with some of the comments of being jaded, on the flip side, if you show me that I can believe in you, I’ll be as loyal a friend as you’ll ever have. I reserve my best for family and close friends. If you’re in the circle, it’s a tight circle and I’ve got your back. There aren’t many people that can fit in the circle so it does mean you are special to me. I’m polite and kind to everyone I meet if they are the same to me. But it’s “ride or die” for my closest.

I Am A Husband – I get a lot wrong at home. I don’t do things exactly like Alicia wants them done. Sometimes I’m mentally checked out from these other things that “I Am”. But I know what my priorities are in life. I enjoy playing sports and Alicia picks up my slack when I do but I’m home every night, our bills are paid, I pull my weight with house duties and I’m a one woman man. She knows what she means to me and I try to remind her more often than I make her forget. All of the positive things I am above, I try to be to her the most. I have so much to improve on but I work on it all the time.

I Am A Father – Anybody who knows me well, knows what my girls mean to me. My life changed forever in 2007. It wasn’t about me anymore. It took me a while to realize it but I get it now. My life revolves around their well being, their safety, their happiness and their growth. I’ve done a lot of things that I would’ve never done 10 years ago just to make them happy. And they are stuck to me like glue so they must like me a little bit too. I spend a lot of time worrying about them and life is harder and more pressure packed but that’s the trade off for the smiles, laughter and hugs. Just like being a husband, I am a work in progress but I’m further along than I was when Bailey was born.

I guess I’m really a lot of other things too. I’m a Bulldog, I’m a marginal athlete, I’m a hard worker (mentally), I’m a sports junkie, I’m a dreamer, I’m a half brained philosopher, and I’m a middling wordsmith. I’m also selfish, I’m a procrastinator, I’m a junk food addict, I’m lazy and I’m uninspiring sometimes. A lot of good and a lot of bad so I guess you have to decide whether I’m your cup of tea or not. I’ll probably stop being some of these things at some point and start being other things eventually. I’ll probably trade in the marginal athlete for the part time hammock sleeper or something along those lines. Maybe the last thing I am is a realist. So I am learning to embrace the good and bad and trying to accept what they both bring to my makeup. I’d love to add millionaire and statuesque heart throb to the list but I am what I am. I am.

J-Dub

Nostalgia – Perception vs Reality

Nostalgia can take many forms and can manifest itself on many different levels. Sometimes we experience nostalgia singularly. Sometimes we experience it on a group level. Sometimes it can be a fond memory of someone we once knew, events we lived through or places we visited. By definition, it is a sentimental longing or wistful affection for the past, typically a period or place with happy personal associations. But, that is too simple. It’s more complex and can be something different to each of us. It can also be deceiving. We tend to block out the monotonous events involved in our nostalgic thinking. We forget the results and repercussions of some of the events. We turn a blind eye to the negative. If you really stop and process your history, it’s quite fascinating.

Rather than get into some deep philosophical ramblings, which would be easy on this topic, I think I’ll convey my point through a personal trip through some of my more vivid memories. It’s not meant to rain on the parade of nostalgia because anyone familiar with this blog understands that I look favorably on the past. We all think “our time” was the greatest. Baby Boomers, Generation X, Millennials. They all have upsides and downsides but you typically find more upsides with your generation than outsiders do. I was born in 1977 so I am Gen X. I grew up in the 80’s/early 90’s, which according to multiple TV shows on VH1 Classic, was the greatest time to be alive. Granted, there were some major positives from the time but I imagine the Baby Boomers think the same about their time. I think we can all agree that millennials are pretty weak when they try to compare their generation to ours.

To simply list cultural references of the 80’s and 90’s would be too easy. It’s more about what the cultural references meant to us individually. While I was watching Transformers, another person may have been watching Jem. My He-Man was another man’s G-I Joe. But regardless, we are generally very protective of our childhood. This was most recently brought to the surface with the release of the Ghostbusters remake. There were people my age that simply refused to go see it because it could not possibly be as good as the original. No Bill Murray, No Dan Akroyd, No Sigourney Weaver? Worthless. Yet, a 19 year old can watch our Ghostbusters from the 80’s and think it’s the dumbest thing ever written. To wit, I say bologna!

Which brings us to the first topic:

• In general, are the remakes really worse than the originals? My answer has to be yes. I’ll take the original Halloween, Friday the 13th, RoboCop, Transformers, Ghostbusters and Texas Chainsaw Massacre any day. First and foremost, a remake just seems lazy. Sure, there are new special effects and the story can advance sometimes but your over arching script has already been written. Did the Dukes of Hazzard really need a redux? I believe that some of the most groundbreaking films came from the late 70’s through the end of the 80’s. Think about some of the prominent films from that time; Star Wars, ET, Aliens, Indiana Jones, Terminator, Caddyshack, Vacation. Those are some really good movies. Some of them hold up and some of them don’t but they were original films in their day and have been the basis for multiple spinoffs and copycats. Everything today seems like a spin off of one of the great 80’s movies. There are some great filmmakers today but a lot of them are also from the 80’s and are using some of those films as references. Think Kevin Smith, Quentin Tarantino, John Singleton and Spike Jonze.

• Was 80’s music really good or just memorable? This one is tougher. Music has been around a lot longer than movies so each decade has had its own unique sound. I will submit that 70’s Disco was the worst until 2010’s Country/Pop/Rap came along. My personal favorite was 90’s alternative rock. This view is not shared by Alicia. I love Smashing Pumpkins, Sublime, Everclear, The Cranberries, Pearl Jam, Nirvana, Alice in Chains…..really all of it. I can still listen to Lithium on XM and enjoy the music and sing along. So, I think 90’s alternative music was really good and is more than nostalgia. However, the music from the 80’s, while toe-tapping and classic in one sense, was not really that good. Unless of course you are talking Hair Metal or Rock. Don’t get me wrong, I really love 80’s music but I can understand when someone says that 80’s music stinks. The synthesizers, the electric drums, the weird dancing, all bad. When it comes on, I will sing my heart out to Safety Dance but think about it – this was a group of guys with planter pots on their heads wearing matching outfits doing a very poor rendition of the robot. “I come from a land down under? Vegamite sandwich?” Not the best from a talent perspective. There are some absolute icons that were playing music in the 80’s but they continued to refine their sound and survived the 80’s. Again, I am a fan but a lot of it is bad. I think we all enjoy it because it takes us back to those days. Der Kommisar is an abysmal song but when I hear it, I think about the Pelham Skating Rink so it has very positive feelings associated with it. It is also when music videos were popular so we all saw something cool visually with it. So, in this case, the nostalgia places the true opinion of the music somewhere between perception and reality.

• How about some TV? This one sort of goes back to the movie section for my generation. Originality drives a lot of the popularity of these shows. Because once again, and just being brutally honest, the product is not good anymore. I have watched Full House and Saved By The Bell very recently and the jokes are just simple and poor. But America almost flipped her lid when Full House was announced as coming back less than a year ago. Today’s desire to watch the comeback was based purely on our nostalgic view. Back then, we just didn’t know any better. Everybody wanted to be Zack Morris and wanted to date Kelly Kapowski, or vice versa. In today’s world, Screech would be the popular hipster and Zack would be the mean pretty boy. One of the key issues with TV then and TV now is/was our expectations. When “Saved by the Bell” or “90210” or “A Different World” came on, they were dealing with hard hitting issues like drugs and alcohol and teen pregnancy. For the time, those were taboo issues. Now look at this comparison. In one episode of SBTB, Jessie struggled with speed pills because she wanted to stay awake and study and meet all of the demands of being a top student. That was a deep, dramatic episode. You should remember, “I’m so excited, and I just can’t hide it” followed by the second worst fake cry in acting history (only second to her attempts in Showgirls). Now, one of the most popular shows of the last few years is about a science teacher who finds out he has cancer so he decides to start manufacturing meth and slowly becomes a drug lord that murders people that get in his way, young and old. All in order to raise money for his family when he’s gone. Can you imagine an episode of Full House where Danny Tanner decides to start slangin cane? I actually may have just come up with the perfect reunion show for Growing Pains. You get the point, the line has gone further and further. That’s what makes sitting down and watching Luke Perry bellyache about being good looking weak. But the 80’s and early 90’s had a feel that can’t really be found today, unless you try really hard. One of the best television shows of 2016 is Stranger Things, which is modeled after 80’s Stephen King and Steven Spielberg. But you know why it’s soooo good? It feels like an 80’s show AND has all of the grown up horror of today’s films. The perfect combination!

This is going to get way bigger than I thought so I am going to go with some quick hitters now.

• Baseball – We have now discovered that our baseball players from Gen X were all juicers but weren’t they more fun to watch? I loved the McGwire/Sosa home run chase. Jose Canseco was always entertaining. Roger Clemens was a fireballer. Doc Gooden and Daryl Strawberry were almost super human but turns out they were on amphetamines, at least according to Lenny Dykstra. Now, we may have stricter guidelines and they may be more kid friendly but it’s not as fun to watch. I enjoy looking at 80’s baseball cards, not because they are valuable, because they aren’t, but because it takes me back to when it was more fun to watch. I don’t necessarily condone cheating but if the percentage using was what they claim, was anybody really at a competitive advantage. Of course, a lot of this is tongue and cheek but the point remains it was more fun to watch!

• Football – Again, it was a blast to watch because of some of the things that have changed since then that have cleaned up the game. No more celebrating after touchdowns, no more crushing hits without a penalty, a big reduction in trash talk. From a strictly entertainment perspective, it has become way more technical than “back in the day”. Now, you get beat with film study and statistical overload. Then, you got pushed around a football field and you ran someone over or you got ran over. Now, we can’t even agree on what a catch is. I still love football but it has become way too over officiated. Again, to be fair, I am not a big showboat fan but I did like when the players had some freedom to express themselves. If you didn’t like it, you were allowed not to like it. Now, that is all behind us. But I can’t honestly say that the times were better. The game has just changed and I miss some of the old stuff.

• Basketball – This one is a hand’s down for me. I remain a huge NBA fan but you will never prove to me that the players from my generation aren’t better than they are now. The current players may be able to jump higher or may be stronger but there aren’t many people that play defense like Scottie Pippen, pass like Gary Payton or Magic, rebound like Barkley, defend the paint like Ewing and Olajuwan, talk trash like Reggie Miller or John Starks, destroy defenders like MJ or AI, or shoot with such cold blood as Larry Bird. There are some great players today that can do those things well but I’ll take my guys all day. There is nothing you can say so don’t try. Just move along.

• Toys – I’ll try to close with this one. The toys of Gen X were awesome when we were young but they really hold just nostalgic value now as opposed to being something that can be replayed today. Transformers were cutting edge, GI Joe was supped up Army Men and Atari was our first shot at video games. You can’t bring those out today and expect to be mesmerized. Pong and Frogger would be quite annoying today. But would I like to play it? Hell Yeah! Super Mario and Duck Hunt brought us hours and hours of joy. Super Tecmo Bowl has received it’s own blog here. Mike Tyson’s Punch Out is a cult classic. BUT, you can only play those games for so long today and the nostalgia begins to wear off. I bought a box of 1989 Donruss for $10 a couple of weeks ago. It started out as the greatest thing ever because I took myself back to opening cards in my bedroom at my mom and dads house and remembered all of the players. About halfway through the box, I started wishing they inserted autographs and jersey cards. It lost it’s luster, until I pulled a Ken Griffey Jr. That card, currently valued at about $10 if in good condition, was the highlight, and the fun was over.

That’s nostalgia sometimes. It can be a great idea in your head and seem really fun to begin with. But, then you start to compare it to how far technology or collectibles or our standard of living has advanced and it wears off. If I could figure out a way to bottle up that initial nostalgic feeling when I see an old movie or ride by the old Video Superstore or pull that Gary Sheffield Rated Rookie, I would be a millionaire. But that’s a part of it I guess. Nostalgia is almost a high for some people, me included. We can spend a lot of time chasing it and once we find it, it doesn’t last long enough and we are looking for it again. It’s really kind of cruel in that way. Your mind takes what were fun but rather normal experiences and gives them new life as you get older. You want to go back and get those experiences and relive them but it’s never as good as the first time around. Then, there is disappointment. But, the high is worth the low on this one. If Doc Brown would go ahead and invent that Delorian, I would have some dates picked out to go back to and experience things “the first time” again. Until then, I have my memories.

J-Dub

In Kirby, We Trust!

We are less than 25 days from the dawning of a new era in Athens, Ga. I started going to Athens annually over 20 years ago. For the last 15, Mark Richt has been the leader of the Red and Black. He performed admirably and I will remain a supporter of the man because of what he did for us and what he stands for. Any true Bulldog fan knows and appreciates his contributions. His successor has huge shoes to fill. It should be applauded that he brought us two SEC titles, won 145 games, was conference coach of the year twice and came painfully close on a couple of occasions to taking us to the national title. Yet, there is the need for change. There is the ultimate prize that has eluded the Bulldogs. That change was inevitable and painful but the result has been met with resounding approval. That change is Kirby Smart.

Kirby is no stranger to Athens. I saw him play the first time I went to a game there. He was a member of the Bulldogs as a defensive back from 1995-1998 and has coached twice for them, once as a grad assistant and once as a member of the 2005 SEC Champs. He then went on to many successful years as a defensive coach and ultimately the defensive coordinator for Alabama. The last two times he has come to Athens have been embarrassing for the home team so I’m glad he’s on our sideline now. He’s also brought a renewed hope with him. Things had gotten stale, so to speak. The Dawgs seem to have been stuck with a 9-10 win cap over the last 10 years. And while that is nothing to be ashamed of, we have watched Alabama, LSU, Florida and even Auburn win the big game during that span. We have long thought we had enough talent. Now, we find out.

2016 opens with a tough test against the defending ACC Coastal champs in The Georgia Dome in Atlanta. Defensively, UNC will provide a challenge for the young offense that the Dawgs will suit up. The Dawgs will return 3 starting lineman (Brandon Kublanow, Isaiah Wynn and Greg Pyke), WR Terry Godwin, RBSony Michel and, potentially, Heisman candidate RB Nick Chubb in week 1. Other than those players, there will be several new faces. The anticipated game changer on offense is Jacob Eason. The question remains if he will start game 1, but even so, it will be his first collegiate football game. Two new linemen will be expected to make an impact early on as well. One of those should be graduate transfer Tyler Catalina, who started 33 games with Rhode Island. The other could be Ben Cleveland, Aulden Bynum or Pat Allen. Or someone else, who knows yet.

Back to Eason. He is one of the most highly coveted recruits in recent Bulldog history and will have the entire weight of Bulldog Nation on his broad shoulders over the next 4 years. He brings all the tools with his 6’5″, and now 245 pound, frame. Matthew Stafford, with discipline, is the comparison. I believe he starts week 1 if Nick Chubb is healthy. He will have some weapons to throw to in Godwin, Isaiah McKenzie, Jeb Blazevich and freshmen WR Riley Ridley and TE Isaac Nauta. The sky is the limit for this freshman but the games still have to be played. He showed his arm off in the spring game throwing for almost 300 yards and a couple of scores. While Grayson Lambert should be able to provide a steady hand at QB, he is not going to win any games by himself. Eason has that capability.

Nick Chubb is a Bulldog favorite and provided the running back stable with zero drop off after the loss of Todd Gurley, a feat almost impossible. By all accounts, his physical health has returned. There are still emotional hurdles to jump after a severe knee injury. However, he has shown superhuman strength and resolve in his short time at UGA. Not many 19 year olds skip spring break so they can work out every day. Along with Chubb, Sony Michel is returning from an arm injury but provided the Dawgs with more than sufficient coverage during Chubb’s 2015 injury. Brendan Douglas will once again be the bruiser when Chubb needs a break. Freshmen Elijah Holyfield and Brian Herrien figure to see the field early as well. Holyfield is an unbelievable specimen. His father, Evander, taught him the benefits of dedication in the gym. He is rumored to have won a push up competition during the summer, completing 100 push-ups in one minute. I know, right? But no matter what, when he’s healthy, this is Nick Chubb’s offense!

On the defensive side of the ball, the Bulldogs return several playmakers from an improving defensive unit. While losing Leonard Floyd, Jordan Jenkins and Jake Ganus from the linebacker corps is not ideal, there are some studs that have been waiting their turn. Lorenzo Carter, Natrez Patrick and Davin Bellamy headline that group. These three linebackers may be the most athletic trio in the country. Whether or not it results in pressures, sacks and wins, remains to be seen but these guys are strong, fast and scary. The most freakish of the group is Carter at 6’6, 242 LB’s. He spent some time in the doghouse, no pun intended, last year but all accounts are that he is working his tail off this summer. The linebackers should be very exciting and a continuous source of highlights. Also in the mix will be Reggie Carter, Roquan Smith, Jaleel Laguins and Twitter Sensation, Ryne Rankins.

The defensive line is one of the biggest question marks heading into 2016. Even with the return of the #1 recruit in the state of Georgia, Trenton Thompson, the unit is inexperienced. Thompson is just a sophomore. Retuning players John Atkins is dealing with a knee injury and Jonathon Ledbetter has been limited with the team following multiple off the field issues. Freshmen Julian Rochester, Mikhail Carter and Tyler Clark expect to play early and often. Rochester himself has a legal hurdle to jump before taking the field thanks to a BB gun incident but he should see the field soon. If Atkins can recover from injury and the freshmen learn quickly, the unit has the athleticism and strength to make an impact. The previously mentioned linebackers will be even better if the line can gel, fill gaps and create pressure.

The unit on the defensive side of the ball that returns the most experience is the secondary. Safety Quincy Mauger has the most game experience of anyone on defense and is one of my favorite Dawgs. I will miss him after this year. Dominick Sanders is a very athletic safety that got his start playing corner. The corners, Malkom Parrish and Juwaun Briscoe are both talented, hard hitting, in your face corners. In addition, 5-Star Mecole Hardman joins the group. He may prove to be too good to keep off the field. Adding to the experience of the secondary will be Kirby Smart’s expertise from his tenure as DB coach and current DC Mel Tucker’s leadership. The Junkyard Dawg defense made popular by Erk Russell may be making a resurgence. It has been missing over the last several years.

The recruiting class was a big worry when the decision was made to move on from Richt. Coaching fluctuations make hanging on to prize recruits very difficult. To their credit, the two remaining coaches from last year, Kevin Sherrer and Tracy Rocker did a magnificent job working the trail and hanging on to the class during the change. With Eason being the perceived (and real) prize as a QB, of equal importance, we were able to land Big Ben Cleveland, Mecole Hardman, Isaac Nauta, Elijah Holyfield, Julian Rochester, Riley Ridley and several others to finish solidly in the top 10. The momentum has continued as we are currently sitting on a top 3 class for 2017. Championships are not won on signing day mind you, but having a top 5 class enhances the odds. Several freshmen will be counted on as new coaches are installed across the board, with the exceptions of Sherrer and Rocker. Jim Chaney takes over as OC with Sam Pittman joining as OL coach, Dell McGee as RB coach and James Coley as WR coach. Mel Tucker takes over as DC (and DB’s) with Sherrer and Glenn Schumann coaching linebackers and Rocker coaching the D line. A very underrated hire has been Shane Beamer, son of Frank Beamer, as special teams coach. You read right Georgia fans, we have a special teams coach.

In my unprofessional opinion, we finish 10-3. I’d love to see 11-2 but I just don’t know. It’s year one for Kirby. I think the 2-3 losses on the schedule are among Tennessee, Ole Miss and Florida. Don’t mistake my prediction for my desire. 14-0 is the desire. There is a lot of excitement in Bulldog Nation this August. More so than ever before. We welcome home a son that now becomes the father. We welcome back a heisman candidate that rushed his way into our hearts. We welcome a golden arm from the West Coast. We welcome a son of a boxing legend who can out push-up all of us. We welcome in the new era. The Kirby Smart era. I can’t wait to get it started!

As my man, Quincy Mauger, said to this nerd from Atlanta…..Goooooo Dawgs! Sic ‘Em!!!!!!

J-Dub

Pet Peeves – Summer Roadtrip Edition

It’s time for another edition of Pet Peeves. I’ve noticed that the curmudgeon in me really comes out on road trips. I love a good road trip whether it be several days or just a short weekend. I enjoy getting out and taking in what the south has to offer, from local foods to local hangouts to local card shops. But the road trip puts me in direct contact with that which I still can’t quite figure out…..people. Some mean well and some are just plain mean. I’ve written about the nice side of vacations before so let’s take a walk on the annoying side of things. As with before, there isn’t anything personal about these things that any of you should try to correlate to our relationship. Rather, just observations of a fellow with a certain disdain for annoyances and general mainstream behaviors. Enough of an intro, let’s dive right in.

Stick Families – Why not just start this whole thing off by offending half of America. Stick family stickers on the back of cars stink. Doesn’t matter if it’s stick people, little animals, zombies, baseball players, whatever. I don’t know why this bothers me but it does. On an elementary level I find it ironic that in a world where everyone is so protective of their privacy, they find it necessary to point out just how many people, and usually their age range, and even sometimes how many pets they have. First, I don’t care. Second, what is it really saying? You’re a family man? You can reproduce? You found someone that would settle down with you? What exactly? Sorry, I just don’t get it.
“_____ Life” – So while we are on car stickers, lets touch on this gem. Alicia even had one of these and they started out kind of catchy. But now, they have totally spawned into their own little life form. Salt Life, Nurse Life, Camo Life, Assault Life, Low Life, Boxer Life, Ruff Life, Softball Life, Mountain Life, Lake Life…..WE GET IT! One of your hobbies or jobs consumes you. And how many “Salt Life” people can there really be in Albany/Leesburg?? The nearest salt water is 2-3 hours away. So unless you have a salt water pool at home, it ain’t your life. And even then, it’s questionable.
I-75 – Ok, so this one is easy. Doesn’t everyone hate this? Sure, when it’s open and light in traffic, it’s awesome. You can stretch out the ride, put the cruise control on and cover some ground. But, those two things together are rare. There is ALWAYS some portion between Albany and Atlanta or Albany and Ocala that is under construction. And work zones breed accidents. And accidents breed Looky Lou’s that slow the entire pace of the day. Add in your usual pet peeves of slow drivers in fast lanes and lane changers in traffic jams and you’ve gut yourself a pet peeve trifecta.
Bathroom Breaks – Ok, I’m behind the eight ball a little on this one. I’m in a family of all girls. One of which, a nine year old, doesn’t realize she has to use the bathroom until she REALLY has to use it. Like, “pull over now or get me a diaper” has to use it. And, we also have the “I didn’t use it before we left because I didn’t have to” routine. Times that by 3 and a 3 hour ride suddenly becomes a 5 hour journey. Sometimes the bathroom breaks can turn into 20 minute stops where $30 worth of junk food and drinks are bought, which lead to more bathroom breaks. It’s a vicious cycle.
Stop N Shop (Not the awesome Camilla C-Store from the 90’s) – My wife likes to shop. She also likes to walk around entire stores picking things up only to put them all back at the end. She’ll sometimes even buy the stuff and return it in the next town. That might be extreme but I won’t say it’s never happened or never will. Nothing can throw a man off track when he is dialed in on travel plans, destination times or meal plans like a TJ Maxx along the way. It takes the wind right out of your sails. Let me say that I Love My Wife. She knows this is something we battle over. I know it is a condition that she has. We live with it.
Hotel Towels – I have yet to meet a hotel towel that could match those we have at home. Could these things be any thinner? And on top of that, all hotels are “going green” aka saving money and asking you to hang these bad boys up and reuse them. That’s like asking me to reuse a napkin at a rib shack. It ain’t happening. You can see through most hotel towels. It sometimes takes two for one shower. And you want me to reuse these? No thanks, it’s going on the floor.
Housekeeping Wake Ups – Ok, I’ll admit that this is sometimes my fault for not sticking the privacy sign out. But sometimes, there isn’t one in the room. Can’t they coordinate the check out system and housekeeping schedule to know whether I’m gone or not before they come a knockin? On some rare occasions, they just come on in because their knock did not awake me from my peaceful slumber. And even worse, they sometimes come around a second time, as if I’ve gotten up, showered and packed in the last 20 minutes. The only good thing about them stopping by is having the opportunity to get another towel.
New AC’s in Hotels – I’m all for modernizing hotel rooms. I like the new pillows and comforters and flat screen TV’s. But one of my favorite parts of an old school hotel room was the AC that you could set on high cool and it ran all night. It didn’t know or care what temperature it was. It didn’t kick off and on during the night. No, it ran constantly and would freeze you out if you weren’t properly covered. I can’t do that at home because I have to pay the bill so if I’m going to pay $125 to stay at your hotel for a night, let me get my money’s worth on the AC.
The Missing Luggage Cart – This is the worst at the beach. There are like 3 of these for a 400 room condo facility? And at the beach, 95% of visitors during the summer are leaving on Sunday morning. That stat is my own based on personal experience and may not be valid but I’m going with it. So, 3 carts for 380 units that are being vacated. That’s one reason I’m in no hurry to get out early, despite the housekeepers insistence on waking me.
“Are We There Yet?” – This is a classic. I didn’t know what that meant until I had kids of my own. It has many variances. When are we going to eat? When are we going to stop? How long before we get to swim? What are we doing today? When can we get a snack? Believe me, it’s never when it’s convenient. Again, there is something to be said for picking up travel momentum. It’s not always fun driving 300 miles. It’s way less fun when you play 20 questions.
Fast Food – This one is pretty simple but one we are still struggling with when Bailey goes with us. I don’t drive 300 miles to eat at McDonalds. I don’t even like driving 5 for it. We have Wendy’s, Sonic, Burger King and Arby’s right where we live. It’s going to taste the same in Orlando, Panama City and Atlanta. I’m well fed, no doubt. So when I travel, food is one of the highlights. I don’t plan on eating somewhere I can drive in my pajama pants to on a Tuesday night. You have your bathroom breaks, let me have my Mojo’s.
Most Kids at Amusement or Water Parks – I love taking my kids to these. It’s total fun because Bailey rides everything with me. She will jump off of the high jumps and fly off the rope swings with me. We love it. That’s why I said “most kids”. I’m well versed in the amusement scene. I’m very fortunate to have grown up going to Disney, Six Flags and Crystal Lake. So, I want my girls to have those experiences. But, most kids at these places are out of their minds. I usually go on all the rides or jumps with Bailey. But some kids get to go it alone. And for some reason, these kids have never been taught proper line etiquette. Just because you are 3’8″, that doesn’t mean you get in front of me and Bailey. We paid just like your mom and dad did. I’m not sure where they are right now but you don’t have fast pass so back it down. If we can’t function in a civilized manner on the Scream Machine, how can we do so in our daily lives?
The Post Activity Grumps – This one is a biggie. When you take a trip, you wake up energized and excited about the activities of the day. Then, while enjoying the activities, you couldn’t be happier. But as soon as the activity is over, you morph into a 90 year old living next to a night club. Everything sets you off. Air’s not cold enough, how long before we get back to the hotel, what are we doing tomorrow (because I’ve already moved on from the sacrifices you made for me today), can we stop at Wendy’s? If you have a kid, you know exactly what I mean. Nothing flips a switch in that personality like the gates closing at the Carnival of Fun. And the grumpiness is contagious….
An Empty Bank Account – I am not a fan of this during any season but it’s relative right now. At the end of a trip, I spend most of the 300 miles back calculating in my head where my life savings went. I add and multiply and divide and try to come up with a rational reason I’ll be eating chef boyardee for the next week but it never adds up. Perhaps if we ate at a couple more McDonald’s or Wendy’s on the trip? Ehh, Nevermind. I guess it’s worth it.
Things We Accumulate – Again, maybe this has something to do with the male/female ratio but our vehicle looks very much like what I imagine Chernobyl looking like. There are clothes in the floorboard I don’t remember bringing. There are some TJ Maxx bags. There are brochures and business cards from the places we visited. Cans, candy, honey buns, chips, you name it. We usually come home with close to double what we left with. I do not know how!
Not Being Home – Finally, the biggest pet peeve is not being home when you want to be. There is so much involved in that last day. It’s over, we have to go back to work and school, we’re broke, we have a ton of laundry to do, we’re all tired and snappy. What you really want on that last day is to just be home and drying off with your own towel and laying in your own bed. The trip is usually great but when it’s over, you want to snap your finger and be home.

None of these pet peeves outweigh the trip itself. In fact, trips wouldn’t really be the same without most of these. With all the good, you must take some bad and in the case of a road trip, it’s really about a 90/10 split so I’m really not complaining as much as I’m having a good time with it. We are very fortunate to make some wonderful memories as a family. Bailey is getting to do things that a lot of kids don’t get to do. And me and Alicia are spending time with each other and them. But the movie “Vacation” is a classic for a reason. Besides being hilarious, it hits home with a lot of us that go on family trips. It’s just part of the gig. And the best thing to do is enjoy it when you get the chance. Happy travels!

J-Dub

Believe In Each Other

“He awoke to the sound of a boom and a shaking that he had never felt before. As he turned to flip the lamp on, he realized the power was out. He was sitting in total darkness. But usually, with darkness, it was quiet. Not this time. He heard faint car alarms, destruction and worst of all, shrieking and screaming. He found himself somewhere between still being half asleep, terrified and curious. Stepping out of the bedroom, there was another boom, but this time, more of a cracking sound and further in the distance. Still, the shaking was felt, even if the sound was further away. He stumbled to the front door and slowly opened it, not knowing what to really expect.
Stepping outside, the prevailing feeling became terrified as the city he was standing in was littered with fires, wrecked vehicles and people running through the streets trying to escape something that had horrified them. In that moment, several thoughts began running through his head. “What is everyone running from?”, “Should I just start running with them?”, “Is this war, anarchy, zombies?”, “Do I go back inside and just lock the door?” The thought that kept repeating between all of these other jumbled thoughts made the most sense. “What the hell is going on here??”

Strangely, amid the internal questioning and taking in the surroundings, there was a moment of clarity, a moment of calm. Almost trance like, he began walking in the direction the people were coming from. He didn’t know where this decision had come from or what he was even doing walking in that direction. His body was just making the movements, with no regard to the trepidation in his head. Pure chaos passed him on the streets as he walked towards the center of town. As he approached a flashing red stop light at an intersection, apparently running on some emergency generator, something caught his attention. There was a gas station to his left. There was a faint sound of a person, calling out. As he made his way closer to the station, he could see the outline of a person reaching out of the partially blocked entry doors to the facility. The constant rumbling and shaking had toppled the sign from the storefront and it sat twisted across the doorway. The person was alone, hoping and reaching for someone to pull them from the collapsing backdrop. He approached the door and moved the sign just enough for the door to sling open and she jumped into his arms. She could not get the “Thank You” out fast enough before he turned to run grabbing her hand. It was time to run with the crowd now instead of heading into it.

They ran from street to street, surveying the landscape, thinking internally and sometimes aloud, but clinging to each other. They didn’t know where they were going, what they were running from or even each other’s names. They were just going on instincts. Those instincts told them to run, to stay with each other because 2 heads were better than 1 and they needed to find somewhere safe. They reached a small opening in what appeared to be a bridge that had collapsed. There was only one little opening so they went in and it opened up enough for them to hide. They were able to pull some metal and shrapnel over the opening and they finally introduced themselves to each other. Somehow they just knew at that moment that they were meant to find each other during this event. It was just one more unexplainable moment in what had turned out to be the most unexplainable evening of their lives.

The loud crashes and chaotic sounds finally subsided. They chose to continue to wait, partly out of common sense that they needed to let the dust completely settle and partly out of fear that their minds were just tricking them into thinking everything was ok. After what felt like several days had passed, he thought the time was right to check everything out. He grabbed her hand and they emerged from the rubble together. The sun was shining bright, the fires were gone and there was silence all around. Whatever caused this had come and gone and they were standing together looking at what was left of the city they called home. They walked back down the street they frantically ran up a couple of days before. Now, just slowly walking, in silence, holding hands. They began to notice people starting to come into view from the various hiding spots they had jumped in. There weren’t as many people as before but they were coming out to see the sun as well. As they approached the center of town, they realized that whatever was happening previously was over. They were safe again. They began to let their guard down a little. They even glanced at each other and smiled for a moment. When they did, they both knew that they had made it together. He was led into that chaos for a reason, although he didn’t know at the time. She needed someone to hold her hand so she would know that she was not alone in the crumbling world. But now, it was over and everyone was slowly making their way back to their homes and shelter. They turned and just looked at each other, not knowing whether to say goodbye to each other or use this chance meeting as a glimpse into humanity they hadn’t seen in a while. So, they just continued to hold hands and just stood there.”

My friends, we are in a very difficult time in our existence. The human race has been here before but this is sort of new for my generation. Have we experienced trying times? Of course we have but this feels like a new day, a new level of burdens and worries. People we thought we knew turn out to be someone altogether different. Friends we thought we had turn out to be strangers. We have become devoted to our 24 hour news cycle and adherent to our social media shares. We take it all for gospel without using our own judgments and never question validity or legitimacy. I love social media as much as the next person and Alicia would probably tell you that I love it too much. But in today’s world, it hurts us as much, if not more, than it helps us. It feeds hatred and spurs commentary without fear of retribution.
The story above is representative of the society that we are in right now and I use it to bring up a few thoughts for your consideration. I don’t know how to answer or address all of the thoughts yet but I think we are being forced to think about it. We may not have all the answers or fully understand why we are where we are today. We may not even know where we are, or at least we haven’t accepted it yet. I can tell you where I think we are. We are standing on our doorstep, looking at a burning city, a burning state, a burning country. There are people running in all directions, using their own misguided assumptions or what their friends tell them or what the internet tells them to determine the type of person they are going to be or, in some cases, they feel like they have to be, to survive.

Sometimes, we can’t listen to all of the thoughts in our head about what’s happening around us. Our minds are not always our friends. What we need to be able to do is listen to what our heart is telling us. We need to be able to turn into the direction the fearful are running from and find someone who needs help. If we are the ones that need help, we need to reach out and let someone do just that when they have offered. Whichever person we are, we also need to be mindful of each other. We need to recognize the calling of the hurt or the scared. We need to recognize those that hold our hands when we are the ones calling out. We can not do this alone. We must help each other; most definitely if we are friends, but even if we are strangers.

We have to believe in each other. We have to believe in ourselves. We have to believe that we can repair our society. We have to believe that we have some control and we have some say in how our lives turn out. Will it be easy? Absolutely not. Will it ever be perfect like in the movies? I think the honest response is that we have advanced too far to answer that affirmatively. I do know there are good people out there though. We can not allow ourselves to be represented by the few. We have to stand for what we believe in and hold the hand of that person next to us that is looking for something to believe in. We can be a light to someone, even if it is just one other person. Really, that’s all it would take if we all did it. If you can’t be a light, find someone who is and cling to them. We don’t have to save the world but we can start by saving each other.

This is not just for the people that are struggling with worldly/societal issues either. This could be for the person that doesn’t know how they are going to afford their next grocery cart full of goodies. Someone who has been abandoned by people they love. Someone who has lost a loved one. Someone who is ill and has struggled with coping. Look next to you in the checkout line or at the red light or at the dinner table. We are all hurting right now through some cause. We have to help each other. We are all we have! A movie star isn’t going to save us. Nor is our government. Our snapchat friends and twitter followers are not going to be our light. We have to look within and to the people that are physically in our lives. There is a lot of fear in our eyes right now. We don’t know what is going on around us but we know we need to run for shelter. While we are running, we need to pick up those that need to be there with us.

My final point relates to the final paragraph of the passage. When we reach out to someone and they accept our helping hand, or vice versa, we can’t tell them goodbye and retreat to our lives when the coast is clear. This is covered ever so gracefully in a song by Thrice, “Stay With Me.” I am asking you all to reach out during a time of need. Now is a time for friendship and caring. But I want you to answer the questions posed in the song – “Would you stay with me, if you thought the war was over and everything made right? Would you still believe in us? Would your love for me grow colder with no one left to fight?” Really think about it.

Think about someone who has been there for you when you thought your world could not get any worse. When things got better, how easy was it for you to go back to your old ways and forget the ones that reached out their hand? This can be said about personal relationships, religion, really anything. I’m guilty so I am not trying to be hypocritical either. When we struggle, we reach out to friends, pastors, family and God. They don’t only need to hear from us during those times. I can think of a handful of people I have met in very difficult circumstances. I didn’t know why or how I met them and didn’t really question it at the time. I do know that those people will forever have a place in my heart and they mean a lot to me. They will never be forgotten. It’s time for us to become unforgettable. It’s time for us to do things the right way, regardless of what our society says we should do. Friends, we are now in a very difficult set of circumstances and we need to make room in our hearts for those that are hurting and those that need it the most.

J-Dub

Sports Cards – More Than Meets The Eye

I have used this forum to discuss my affinity for sports cards before. But a brief discussion with a friend today made me think about what the hobby is like for those of us who are into it and what it seems like for the non collector. It has so many layers today as opposed to back in the 80’s when I started. There is retail, hobby, grading, inserts, variations, errors (intentional and unintentional), autographs, memorabilia cards (some legit/some fake), outright fake cards, numbered cards, valuable oddities and some players that just bust on the scene and unleash fury on the market. I am neck deep in the hobby and it’s hard for me to keep up with everything. I thought I’d put together a little “Beginners Guide to Collecting” for those in my life that I burden with my hobby talk.

I sometimes long for the days of the simple set and collecting my favorite player just to have it for my collection. That’s where Bailey is at and I’m trying to keep her there as long as I can. Her favorite is football right now and if she pulls a Todd Gurley, AJ Green or Andrew Luck, she’s on cloud 9, regardless of whether it’s a common card or insert. For a quick description: each card set (Topps, Upper Deck, Panini, etc) contains a base set of cards that are found in every pack. Randomly “inserted” into those packs are more rare items that range from a simple subset card with minimal value to a low number autograph that can be very valuable. We both open a pack together and I’ll see duds and she’ll be ecstatic. Then we’ll pull a rare gem and I’ll get excited and she’ll be like, “what’s the big deal?” She should know by now that a reverse negative of Mike Trout in a throwback uniform with a fake gum stain on the back of the card is a nice hit. Geez, this has really become more difficult than it has to be.

To start with, let’s talk “retail” vs “hobby”. Collecting is not as simple as going to Target or Wal Mart and picking up a couple of packs anymore. I used to think it was in the late 80’s/early 90’s but I’ve found out that even then, I was most likely getting a raw deal. The descriptions are just what they say. You but retail packs at retail stores. You buy hobby at your local hobby shop and from wholesalers online. You can buy either from EBay but buying retail on eBay is akin to taking your money and lighting it on fire. For the serious collector, hobby is the way to go. To begin with, there just aren’t as many “hits” in retail packs. The prices are more reasonable because of that but you’ve got to love commons and base sets to go retail. There are occasional hits in retail but they are very rare due to a couple of things: print ratio and the following rant….

The most prevalent problem with retail is what we in the hobby call, “pack searchers”. Next time you go to Target, take a look at an open box of cards. Are they all upside down, sideways and generally in shambles? That’s not a kid that got overzealous. That’s a grown man (or woman) who most likely took some type of tool like a magnet or scale or ruler into the store with him to investigate all the packs in the box. He weighed them to see if he could spot the autograph or memorabilia pack as it might be heavier, measured the thickness to find the odd pack that contains a hit or even used a magnet to find a rare printing plate. He went through every pack bending and sliding cards with his fingers to take any that stood out to him as potential winners. There are some very hot debates about whether these type of people should be allowed to continue to function in society but I’m here to tell you that they are cheats in my book. You want to hold a couple of packs and make a reasonable judgment, go ahead. But if you break out the tool kit, you might as well sign up for ISIS. Reputable hobby stores will not allow that type of behavior. So, the pros for hobby are exactly the opposite of the cons of retail: higher hit ratios and no pack searchers. You always have to be careful online, retail or hobby, trust me.

Next, let’s talk about grading. This is not a very old addition to the hobby, starting around the mid 90’s. But today, it’s a vital part of collecting older cards, ensuring you are getting a card in good condition or just preserving your favorites as you collect them. Of course, there is an additional price for this service but in most cases, it increases the value of the card. High graded vintage cards are both valuable and hard to find. A grade of 6 or better is usually very sought after in the pre 1970’s sets. A grade of 6 in a current set would mean you let your dog open the pack for you. PSA is my personal favorite but I’ve also used Beckett on occasion. They will also help with the authentication of autographs and memorabilia cards. They’ll even help you sniff out those Jordan Rookie fakes that are floating around eBay. There services are a tremendous help for the hobby and can help you increase the value of your collection without adding new cards.

Autographs are the big hits in today’s packs, with the exception of the occasional printing plate or 1 of 1 inserts. Autographs can come in many different levels. Of course the superstars are hard to get. But most autographs that are found in packs today are of rookies who have not proven any worth on the field yet. Their value is pushed by potential and scarcity of their autograph on the market. One of my favorite sets to collect is Topps Archives, because the autographs that are available in that set are usually from 80’s / 90’s players that I grew up collecting. Not always valuable but very nostalgic. Some of my favorites have been Ron Gant, William “The Refrigerator” Perry, Bruce Smith and Dwight Clark. They aren’t going to break the bank but they are household names for anyone who watched sports from my generation. Plus, they did something on the field and had solid careers. How many people ran out and paid hundreds for that Johnny Manziel autograph that didn’t pan out?

There is also the IP (In Person) and TTM (Through The Mail) autograph for those serious hobby’ers who like to do it themselves. We have AJ Green, Todd Gurley, Chris Conley, Freddie Freeman, Dominique Wilkins and others that we got over the years in person. We’ve had some success TTM with Tony Stewart, Dale Jr., Wade Boggs, Christian Laettner and Harrison Barnes. These options are usually cheaper than those you buy online (and sometimes free altogether) but they lack the authentication you get from the companies like Topps and Panini. That’s where PSA and Beckett services come in handy. Regardless of your intent with authentication or selling, nothing beats that one on one interaction with the athlete, especially when your kid is with you. Bryce Harper is on my list of “ones that got away.” I was 3 people away from getting his autograph at a spring training game when he was a rookie and the line shut down. Now, I’ll have to pay a couple hundred bucks for it if I want it. Still sick over that one.I was so close…..

Bryce Harper was not a kid that came out of nowhere. He was in ESPN The Magazine when he was just 16 and in high school. Lebron didn’t sneak up on us either. But those guys that do come out of nowhere are one of my favorite parts of the hobby. You could be sitting on the next big star and not even know it. His card is just collecting dust in a box and then boom! Trevor Story, shortstop for the Colorado Rockies is 2016’s version. This guy has a couple of cards dating back to 2011 that most likely were shoved in the back of the closet. He comes out in 2016 and lights the world on fire for a couple of months and he has a card sell on eBay for $20,000 – allegedly. I say allegedly because it in fact sold but there are questions about the arms length nature of the sale. Nothing I can verify or rightfully dispute but it did sell. To be fair, it was a 1 of 1, super-refractor card but still not a valuable card at all prior to April 2016. Kurt Warner, Antonio Gates, Jeremy Lin and Mike Piazza are a few more that weren’t heralded rookies. For every “out of nowhere” guy there are probably 5 can’t miss guys. Anybody remember Kevin Maas, Brien Taylor, Ryan Leaf, Tim Tebow, Matt Leinart, Todd Van Poppel, Darko Milicic, Kwame Brown or Greg Oden? I remember them very well. They were huge busts!

Last on the docket for this discussion is the oddballs, cool inserts and errors. Errors used to be just that. Mistakes made at the printing facility that escaped into packs and had to be corrected later. Billy Ripkin’s 1989 Fleer is one of the most famous. He had a pretty vulgar comment written on the knob of his bat and it was captured for all the world to see. Once they discovered it, they tried to correct it several ways. First, it was just rubbed out, then there was black tape superimposed. I think there were 4 versions in total. These were highly sought after mistakes back in the day. Now, companies will make intentional errors in a call back to the good old days. Topps has even superimposed a gum stain on the back of some recent releases to harken back to the days where gum was included in the packs. Perhaps the most error ridden set was 1990 Pro Set Football. They either turned a kid loose in the system or had a kangaroo running the plant. There are so many errors in the set! But it still makes opening a vintage $10 box entertaining. And there’s also a cards with Santa Claus on it. Yeah. Throw in old Kaybee or KMart sets, Purina Cards, Garbage Pail (old school) and card of that sort and you’ve got something for everyone.

So that’s my 10 cent, 20,000 foot view of collecting. Now, maybe the puzzling look on my face at Wal Mart or my excitement walking out of Comics and Cards here in Albany can have a little depth. It’s a legit hobby and the companies try something new every year to keep it fresh. Some ideas are home runs and some are fumbles. But they are making an effort and I appreciate it as a collector. I love talking about the hobby and it’s a wonderful experience that I share with Bailey. It’s just more complicated than you think.

J-Dub

The Human Element

I’m going to break my own rule of keeping this blog light hearted and nostalgic and fun. I’m sure the feedback will be mixed on this one too but this is where I am at. I am not speaking for a nation or a state or a people. I am speaking for Joseph Shiver. We have all lived a unique life and wear our own glasses to view the world in which we live. I am not black or Muslim or a police officer so I can’t speak from any of those perspectives. Nor can I discount what any of those groups claim as their perspective. But, I am a human being. And I have to ask, “What the hell are we doing people?”

Let’s start with the simplest of statements. Don’t believe everything you see on Facebook! That goes for the news as well. If you haven’t figured out by now, “the right and the left” tailor their stories for their constituents. If you want to read about how Hillary should go to prison, go to the conservative sites. If you want to read about how Trump will destroy the country, which wouldn’t take a lot of effort considering the current state of affairs, check out liberal media. I find myself leaning more and more towards the middle.

What’s the number 1 hot button issue in politics? Race. I’m not about to sit here and tell you it isn’t a real issue. I’ve been around long enough to know that it is one of the most volatile issues we face in our country. But here are my thoughts on how politics and race married, forming the unholiest of unions. It is used by both sides to further their own progress, to our detriment as a human race. The left is going to feed you news that infuriates their party and keeps the fire stoked while their candidate struggles through criminal charges for wrongdoing. The right is going to feed you news that does the same for their party while their candidate shoots off at the mouth every chance he gets about minorities or women or building a wall. They are both despicable in their own unique ways in my opinion. It’s true, there are more important things going on besides thousands of email breaches but don’t divide the country to prove your point.

Keep in mind that I am not talking about the actual events at all. That’s where my comments above about not having the appropriate perspective come in. I don’t know what it’s like to be a black man pulled over by the police. I also don’t know what it’s like to be a police officer trying to get a suspect to comply. What I do know is the way the events are reported is screwed up. There is no other way I can explain how people have such staunch responses to a tragic event such as this. There are no winners or losers but the media makes it out that way. I’m telling you that everybody loses when something like this happens. We have one group sharing memes about the deceased being a convicted sex offender carrying a concealed weapon and the other shares memes about him being a family man. It works both ways too. The recently “convicted”, and I use that term loosely, college swimmer who brutally raped a girl after a campus party, was shown on some news sites in his graduation photos or with his swimming garb on. The other sites showed his mug shot, as was, I believe, appropriate.

Here’s the only fact we really know when a story like this breaks – “We know absolutely nothing about all of the events that took place.” All we do know is that the end result was horrific. But arguments over the end result quickly spin into debates on what is or isn’t justified. Do you see the problem in this? How can we determine if anything is justified or not without full disclosure? We have a snippet of a cell phone video but it doesn’t tell the whole story. I know what I see and it doesn’t look good. But I haven’t seen everything. What I did see was a man lose his life. Whether or not it was justified is not the immediate issue in my mind. My heart goes out to the deceased’s family as they have lost a father, husband and brother. He may or may not have been a terrible guy but he was those things to some people and those people will be hurting. Then my heart goes out to the officers involved because they will immediately be under fire for their actions. They have to live with that moment for the rest of their lives, right or wrong. And any human being with a conscience will wrestle with that until the day they die.

Therein lie’s the problem. Is it not ok for me to feel for both parties? Do both parties not deserve that immediate consideration until the facts present themselves in their entirety? If I “Back the Blue”, does that make me either a racist or someone who doesn’t care about the victim? If I support the victim’s family in their grief, does that make me “anti-police”? You can answer that however you want to but I can assure that I am neither. Then the million dollar question becomes, “When is taking someone else’s life justifiable?” I don’t want to nor am I qualified to answer that question. I believe there is only one judge and jury. I know that I will go to any lengths to protect myself and my family but fortunately, I am not in the position to have to do that every time I go to work. So it’s not for me to try the police for murder on social media. Nor is it for me to condemn the deceased as someone who got what they deserved.

I grew up in Small Town America (I hate that term), Camilla, GA. I went to Mitchell-Baker High School and anyone will tell you that I am proud to say that. I have played sports from the time I was 11 until this very day with a diverse group of people. I have not been sheltered to race and it’s effects on us as a society. But again, I have always considered myself a human being. That is my race. I consider BJ Harris, Ashley Kinnett, Joe Jackson, Tavis Cole, Jorge Rodriguez and Jomar Diaz my friends and brothers in this world, among many, many others. That’s why it bothers me so much to see friends and family fall victim to this enraging game that is played with us. It pits us against one another. It reveals our weaknesses as a society. You begin to question whether you should be friends with people anymore because of what they share on FB instead of relying on what you believe to be in their heart from a lifetime of knowing them.

When the facts come out, if the police were in the wrong, they should be dealt with accordingly. If the suspect’s actions led to the result, let’s talk to each other about what should be done differently without accusations or division. We have to stand up for what’s right and condemn what’s wrong, no matter whose side of the fence it happens on. It’s ok to feel for the victim and family. It’s ok to be thankful for all of the police that protect us. It’s ok to stand in solidarity against violence. It’s ok to condemn a criminal just like its ok to condemn a bad cop. It’s NOT ok to incite violence or promote violence or cheer when violence occurs as many have the last few days. What I witnessed last night happening in Dallas is the stuff of nightmares. It never settles the score. It never evens the scale. It only deepens the chasm that is fracturing us as human beings. And in the end, that is what we all are; living, feeling human beings.

J-Dub

Hoop Dreams

I grew up at the absolute best time to be a basketball fan! And I’ve been one since I can remember. I began playing at about 11 with the RA team at First Baptist Church and last played just Tuesday night at Sherwood in our season opener for church league. So, if you are counting, that’s 28 years of playing basketball. That beats softball/baseball by a few years. I love playing, watching, coaching or just shooting around. I won’t say that it’s always come natural because I’ve had some great teachers along the way. But I will say that I have always been more confident on the basketball court than any other sports field.

I think that for the most part, I’ve always understood my limitations in basketball more so than any other sport. In basketball, you can beat someone in a lot of different ways. The key is finding out what you do best and trying to perfect it. It’s a lot like life if you think of it that way. In softball, technology has become the name of the game. Sure, guys are strong and powerful but it doesn’t hurt to be swinging the newest $300 bat that has been shaved down to the equivalent of a composite wafer. Why not use a re-stitched softball while you’re at it? Oh yeah, that happens too. I’m not a homerun hitter and no amount of technology will change that. But the playing field is never very even. And I get myself into trouble more often than not trying to be someone I’m not, on the softball field.

Basketball is a different game. Give me a nice $100 NBA licensed basketball or one that you get at Wal Mart for $10 and I’ll make a free throw with either one (about 75% of the time). But there is something in basketball that I can’t change. Something I’ve always had to work around. I’m just going to come out and say it. I’m a short, chubby guy that can’t jump. Read that how you want to but the 90’s movie title wasn’t off base. I haven’t always been chubby but I’ve always been short (and non-jumping). So, it was easy to recognize early on what my deficiencies were going to be and what I was going to have to focus on. I was going to be a shooter, not a dunker. I would shoot outside, not at the rim. I would learn how to steal, not block shots. I would perfect passing, not rebounding. Finally, I would hone my dribbling skills because the bigs (as us short folks call them) can’t take the ball from me if I can dribble. The other unique thing about basketball is that you can practice all by yourself so I didn’t need friends over to go shoot.

So that’s how it started and went for many years. My backyard with a basketball was where I could be found almost any time of day for most of the year. I practiced what I saw on TV, what my close friend Rusty was able to do and what I got beat with at school. All the moves and tricks stayed with me and I practiced them over and over. Some of them would click and some would never fit for me. I used what clicked. I would practice them on Coop or Brewer or Little Man or Munt. They all had their own playing styles so it helped me figure out what worked in certain situations. It was such a chess game to me and became what drove me. I still think to this day that I learned a lot of problem solving skills and adversity training from basketball. No matter how much you play, there is always going to be somebody that can out jump you, is faster, stronger, can shoot better or can handle the ball better. And there were many, including the guys that I mentioned just above. They all had certain skills I would mimic to make myself more rounded. Brewer was tall and could dunk and block shots. Munt was a tremendous ball handler and shooter. Little man could defend and Coop was adept at rebounding. They all provided unique learning perspectives.

I can remember playing every day during the summer, whether in my backyard, at The Parramore Pavillion, Westwood or Mitchell Middle – we were playing somewhere. I was in wonderful shape. Thus the not chubby part at the time I suppose. We played in city leagues, we created our own leagues, we played 2 on 2, we would play 5 on 5 in the gym, you name it. We were always playing though. During the school year, I would rush to the lunchroom when the lunch bell would ring. Not to be the first in line but to get to the gym in time to make a free throw to get on a squad for pickup games. If you didn’t make the free throw, or sometimes 3 pointer, to get on the main goals, you’d be banished to the side goals to play. I was fine either way but especially enjoyed the main goal because that was the toughest competition.

The main goals were where I would play with Jumaine Jones (future NBA player) or Ronald Blackshear or Kelvin Hayes or Alex Carter or Carlus Haywood or Derrick Harris. The list is much more extensive but I don’t have the room or the time. Carlus was a giant at almost 7 feet tall but was as gentle a guy as he could be for that size. He was great on the court though. I enjoyed playing with him. He recently passed away but I’ll always have great memories of camaraderie that I wouldn’t have otherwise had if I hadn’t picked up a basketball. One of my favorite opponents at lunch was Coach English. He would clear the court after the balls were taken up and play somebody one on one in front of everyone and we played often. He was a very good outside shooter and was strong as an ox. Those were good times. I like to think I held my own against that competition. I was appreciated for my jump shot and was never a ball hog.

To go along with the actual playing, the game was exploding on TV and I was able to witness some of the greatest players and plays of all time. As a teen, I saw the Fab Five play, Laettner hit the shot, Jordan beat Cleveland and, a few years later, Utah on memorable shots. I saw players in their prime that will forever be known as some of the greatest – Jordan, Nique, Bird, Magic, Barkley, Iverson, Shaq, Malone, Stockton, Hakeem, Clyde the Glyde, Hardaway, Ewing, Reggie. Certain events that will always stick in my mind are related to baskeball. I remember when Magic announced that he was HIV positive. I remember when Reggie Lewis died. I remember when Jordan retired the first time. Those were “where were you when” moments for me. The first Dream Team, Reggie Miller scoring 8 points in 11 seconds in the Garden, the Webber timeout – all in my youthful heyday! Then, of course, there were the video games. NBA Jam, NBA Live, Double Dribble, Hoops…..what a great time to be alive. I would play basketball until my feet hurt and then get callous’ on my hands playing NBA Live with one of the greatest video game teams ever, The Orlando Magic with Shaq, Penny, 3D and Nick Anderson.

Fast forward to 2016. I’m still trying to play and still love the game as much as I ever have. The names have changed, the basketball card designs are fancier and I create myself on video games now but the game is still meaningful. The Hawks just signed one of the most polarizing players in the league in Dwight Howard, Lebron just beat the team that had the best win/loss regular season record ever in the Finals, Kevin Durant just joined that team and DWade actually moved to a team I can pull for. It’s not Jordan, Bird and Magic but I still enjoy. The fact is that it’s a highly entertaining game, a mentally and physically challenging sport and a large part of my childhood. My points are coming a little closer to the basket these days but I think I can still hold my own to be a short, chubby old guy who can’t jump as good as when he was 21, which wasn’t very good at all. That jumper is still legit though.

J-Dub

The Birthday Float

June 24 is a day I must remember every year. I don’t want to be that husband that remembers the morning of, that its the wife’s birthday. So far, so good – if memory serves. I consider myself a good gift guy and always try to put in a lot of thought when deciding on that perfect bday present. I’ve had some winners and I’ve have some humdingers. That’s right, I just busted out the word “humdingers”! After 15 years of marriage and a handful more of dating, the ideas have gotten a lot tougher. There’s only so many pieces of jewelry you can buy before it gets stale. And as adults, your wish list becomes a lot more expensive or you can just go out and buy it yourself. So I’ve run the gambit on the birthday surprise over the years.

Last year was kind of a big one. I was finally able to score some Dave Matthews tickets, which was a bucket list item for Alicia. One year, we went to Atlanta and classed it up at some fancy club named “Opera”. There was Def Leppard one year. There was the Buckhead birthday where we went wining and dining. This year, we’ll be going to see a Fleetwood Mac tribute band at an old landmark bar in Little Five Points. While the gift ideas are constantly evolving and I’m having to start earlier and earlier on my thought process, one constant is present every June around this date. That would be “The Birthday Float”.

The float consists of a group of friends, that also love the outdoors and the creek, kayaking or tubing or boating down the Kinchafoonee Creek in Lee County. The trip usually starts at the Highway 32 bridge in Leesgurg and twists and turns down to an area behind our neighborhood just north of the Dougherty County line. The cast changes slightly from year to year but the general core remains the same. The Normans, Duvall’s and Shivers. The Lambs are usually in tow but a new baby this year will put them on the shelf. My constant compadre on the trip is Clemmy Johnny, Mi Hermano de Otra Madre. We usually lag back a bit to oversee what’s happening and carry on our immature conversations without eye rolls from the women folk. We also bring our favorite adult beverage mixers to help keep cool if the sun is too hot….or something like that. We also lag back from time to time to avoid the alcohol police who think maybe we’re moving too quickly through the cooler. There is no such thing I say. And CJ surely agrees with me.

We also like to spend some time out of the kayak along the trip. There is a lot to see and do along the Kinchafoonee besides kayak. There are numerous jumping spots, from the old rope swing at the Century Rd bridge to the 30 foot cliff just before we get to our takeout point. I still don’t know how deep it is there but I’ve tried to touch a couple of times to no avail. There are a couple other jumping spots but the climbing is a little tougher and our coherence plays a part in whether we attempt those or not. I do remember Michael doing a sweet flip out of a tree once that made me think for a split second that we were going to be headed to the ER. We’ve talked many people into taking the leap from the large cliff but have never gotten Alicia to take the plunge. Maybe this year is the year. Shaina even did it after about 45 minutes of coaxing. And this was after she flipped her float and lost all of her important items like her drivers license. Sorry Shaina.

There are also some cool natural wonders to see along the trip. There is a nice cave that leads from the creek up to the top of a small cliff that the ladies won’t let us jump from because they think it’s too shallow. There is also a pair of Oakleys in the water somewhere near the mouth of the cave. There is a waterfall near the end of the trip that is always a nice photo op. Depending on the water level there is also a little area of tiny rapids that are a fun change of pace from the usual slow current. But the highlight is always the blue hole. It’s a pretty decent sized pool of clear, cold spring water that invigorates the body and makes everyone a little nervous of being pushed in. It’s a hotspot on the creek and usually the most populated area as everyone stops to enjoy the cool water. It’s usually where we stop to get a bite to eat and stretch the legs.

Of course, we typically aren’t the only species of creature on the creek, enjoying the water and sun. The most common sighting is the Kinchafoonee Creek Monster, pictured above. He’s known to perform daring acts from any height and also occasionally shows off feats of strength by crushing tree branches in the gathering of firewood. There are also a variety of snakes and gators. The gators are usually less visible during the day but the snakes are more than ready to come out and dangle off of a tree limb. You must remain vigilant when around the trees. The quicker CJ and I get through those coolers, the less alert we are. There have probably been lots of times where I was only a few feet from a snake and never even knew it. It’s just the normal law of probabilities. It’s their habitat, it’s the south and it’s summertime.

The trip typically takes about 4-6 hours depending on the water level, how much time we spend at different stopping points and our overall pace. By the end of the float, we are all tired, sunburned and waterlogged. But we are also happy and relaxed. I always sleep really well the night after a float on the creek. The combination of physical exertion and heat will wear your body out and leave you just plain beat. It might be why we only do it a few times a year. There are people that do it every weekend or twice a month. But when we take our group to the creek, we are all in and push it to the limit. Some of us party pretty hard! But it’s such a great time.

Alicia loves being on the water and I can understand why when I go out there. I am typically more of a fisherman or swimmer but floating and taking in all of the surroundings is peaceful and a heavy reminder that we are living in a beautiful world. Getting on the creek on a hot summer day with cold drinks and good friends can make all of your problems go away for a while. And who doesn’t need that. We usually take 2-3 big group trips a year but the one on Alicia’s birthday is always a given. I’m thankful she kept poking me to me change my stubborn attitude about getting out on the creek from time to time. I still enjoy my cool air downtime but our trips on the Birthday Float always create memories and I’m sure this year will be the same. So we will once again be launching tomorrow to take this excursion with our group of misfits and I am looking forward to it. Our goals are to have fun, stay safe, enjoy the outdoors, leave nature as we find it (or better off) and see if we can find the bottom of the cooler by the end of the day. We’ll be enjoying a nice band, good food and companionship soon for the official birthday present. But tomorrow, we float….and dive….and swim….and love life and each other. Happy Birthday again Alicia and I’m looking forward to enjoying another float with you!

J-Dub

Father’s Day

Today is a wonderful day for guys like me. We spend all year quietly, and sometimes loudly, trying to guide our offspring through the pitfalls and trapdoors of the world. Sometimes minor pitfalls, sometimes major, but the job is 24/7/365. The pay is abysmal but the benefits are better than any other job. I am a proud father of two daughters, 9 and 2 (almost). I make mistakes everyday. I question decisions almost everytime I make them. I’m learning. What I have learned about being a father over my lifetime though has all been thanks to one man; Dewey Wayne Shiver.

My dad is and always has been a hard working man. A truck driver since he was old enough to see over the wheel, he has spent more than 40 years riding the pavement all over the southeastern United States. Thankfully, while the workload hasn’t changed, the routes have become shorter and he’s home most every night. He leaves before daylight and sometimes gets home after the sun sets but I’m sure it beats leaving on Sunday night and getting back on Friday night. So even though it took many, many years, I had the perfect role model for work ethic.

My delay in picking up that work ethic may have been due to some of the things I was recruited for growing up. We all had our chores and things we had to help with around the house. Sometimes, your parents profession has an impact on that list too. My fun list included many a Saturday, in the South Georgia heat, helping change some oil or helping change some tires or even helping rebuild something I couldn’t even identify, like an alternator or transmission. I probably wasn’t the best apprentice but I got sweaty and dirty and lost my fun Saturday. Even worse than that though were the nights the weather decided to turn south and he would wake me up from my youthful slumber at 4:00 am to go tarp a load of lumber. You might as well have asked me to walk on hot coals to Atlanta. I was a pretty happy guy when the new Wal Mart was built in Camilla. Where it now sits, used to be the the old Phillips 66, where I spent those Saturday’s and 4:00 school mornings. The gas station is still there but where we worked is gone. I wouldn’t trade the memories now though.

When he wasn’t working though is when the real memories were in production. We spent a lot of time at the lake. We had a place at Fort Gaines for most of my life. It started out as a small camper that housed about 4 people and eventually grew into a nice place that housed as many as 10 or more at times. No matter the lodging though, the man’s best time was spent on the water. He’s a master at crappie fishing and was able to put us on the fish everytime we backed the boat in, which he taught me how to do also. We even dominated the adult/child division of the southeastern crappie tournament trail for several years and our plaques remain prominent proof. While the fishing was excellent, he had some less than shiny moments in the boat. He once fell out of a tree trying to navigate the boat and his line in the dead of winter. He, or allegedly his fishing partner, toppled a small charcoal grill in the boat once almost burning the vessel. But most famously, he had a knack for putting himself on the fish and kicking the back of the boat around leaving me out to dry. He claims he did not do this and even over corrected in the latter years of our fishing excursions.

Though there were hilarious moments, the ones in the boat pale in comparison to some of the gems that were later memorialized in a video me and my brother made for him one Christmas. A lot of them inside jokes, a lot of them just plain embarrassing. He spewed Pepsi all over his front windshield in a coughing fit. He slipped while pushing the trash can to the road and tried to eat the can itself. He yelled from one grocery aisle to the next, “Pam, these yo weinies?” He had multiple, now infamous, spats with customer service reps leading one such confrontation to end with my dad’s friendly advice that the clerk “may as well work in the panty department and maybe he would actually know something about them.” Good times.

Of course, we had our rough patches too. I was not the best student growing up and usually went half speed when asked to do something. I also went through my fair share of lawn mowers while blindly running over everything possible in our yard. I backed into my moms car in our own driveway. I almost smashed my uncle, his brother, playing with levers on his big truck while the cab was open. I tried to decapitate myself when I was a wee tot. I dove down a flight of stairs yelling “yee haw” in what I’ve only been told was a horrendous audition for Dukes of Hazard. So, when you look at it that way, he’s taught me patience and faith. I don’t know how else you explain either of my parents surviving my 18 years at home.

Amid all of that though, he still taught me how to play baseball, how to fish, how to collect baseball cards, how to stand up for what’s right, how a marriage works (when things are good, bad or you’re on the road all the time), how to do the right thing and how to catch a good afternoon nap. The list is too long to outline in its entirety but it’s very comprehensive. I’ve never met anyone who was so committed to living the right way and treating people (with the exception of the occasional Sears personnel) with respect. I’ve learned how to be a good person from my mom and my dad. If I can live up to half of their example, I’ll be satisfied. Nowadays, my dad is no longer the stern disciplinarian he was when I was a kid. He’s a big ole teddy bear with Georgia and Bailey and lights up whenever they are around. They will never question whether their Dew Dah loves them. That’s one more lesson that I am learning. Take care of the people that mean something in your life and let them know you love them. Thanks Dad for all you’ve taught me and continuing to take care of us even when we’ve grown up and started our own families. Happy Father’s Day and I love you big guy!

J-Dub

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